38. How to Handle Getting COVID
I know firsthand that everyone in Public Health really struggled at the start of the pandemic, way back at the start of 2020. There was hyperawareness around Public Health, we were all under a lot of pressure and severely overwhelmed. And with the emergence of Omicron, it feels like we’re back there again.
For the remainder of January, I’m doing a three-part series to help you through the stress of dealing with the current COVID surge. We’re two years into this pandemic, and it’s exhausting. So, I’m giving you some advice about how to handle the various problems you’re facing during this rise in cases, and giving you the tools to help you gain some relief and reduce your stress, at least enough to give you some breathing room. And in this first episode, we’re focusing on how to deal with actually catching COVID.
Whether you’ve had COVID in the past, currently have it, or are concerned you’re going to be in a situation where you might catch COVID in the near future, tune in this week to discover how to deal with the overwhelm that these situations produce.
If you’re struggling at work, burnt out, overwhelmed, hate your boss, or at the end of your rope after a year-and-a-half of dealing with a pandemic, I have an amazing free course beginning in 2022. It’s packed with simple, direct content that you can easily consume over your lunch break to help you feel better and less stressed in 2022. Join the 2022 course waitlist here!
What You Will Discover:
My story of getting tested for COVID over the holidays.
The guilt and other specific emotions that people who work in Public Health are experiencing around getting COVID.
Why getting COVID is such an emotionally charged experience.
The reason our brain jumps to self-judgment around the idea of contracting COVID, and why this isn’t helping.
How to learn the skill of handling whatever emotion is coming up for you around getting COVID or potentially testing positive.
Resources:
Get The Burnout Recovery Resolution mini-course by signing up here!
Sign up for a Curiosity Call to find out more about coaching
Follow me on Instagram!
Questions? Comments? I'd love to hear from you! Email me at info@mckoolcoaching.com
Full Episode Transcript:
If you're two to five years out of your MPH degree, love public health, but find yourself secretly unhappy at work and maybe even thinking about quitting your job, then this is the podcast for you. I'm Marissa McKool, host of the Thoughts Are Your Root Cause podcast. Join me each week as I share tips, tools, and resources to help you have the career you've always dreamed of without any of the stress you are experiencing right now. Come along.
Welcome healthcare professionals. I am so glad you are here with me again for another episode. I know we have a lot of new listeners. Welcome. I am glad you're coming to the community to get some support, tips, and resources to help you manage your stress and overwhelm. Especially right now during these times. I'm really excited to be recording again. It's been several weeks.
I took some time off over the holiday season, and now I am back recording. I mean, the episodes have kept coming out. So, hopefully, you have been listening, and if you're new, you can go back to listen to those. But it feels good to be back recording and talking to you all. I'm recording a three-part series for the rest of January to give you all tips, resources, guidance, and support for handling the stress of the current COVID surge.
In March of 2020, I remember myself included, and everyone else in public health that I was around really struggled. There was hyperintense awareness around public health, like, on the largest scale. We were all overwhelmed. There was so much uncertainty, so much worry, and also pressure. And now, two years in that has continued in a different way, but now with Omicron, it's kind of reminiscent of March 2020.
So, I know many of you have similar feelings and experiences of overwhelm, stress, isolation, uncertainty, worry, and burnout. And it's just intensified because it's two years into this. So, my hope is with the next several episodes, which are going to be specific to challenges you might be facing during this surge, it will help you find some relief. Help you get a tool or a trick to help you reduce your stress and your overwhelm. Maybe not completely, but enough for you to breathe, right? And for you to find some calm and some peace, have just some moments for yourself.
So, today we're going to be talking about when you, the public health professional, gets COVID. Next week we're going to be talking about the politics of public health, struggling with the political nature of the pandemic, and issues with policies and access and all of that. And the last week of January, we're going to be talking about how you can deal with anti-vaxxers or anti-maskers, or any anti-public health; family members, friends, community members, news, social media, all of that stuff.
So, if you know someone in public health, a colleague, a friend who is also struggling and might find these topics helpful, the coaching around these topics helpful, please, please, please send them this episode. Send them future episodes so we can help more of our community, our internal workforce community, weather this storm. So, today's episode is for anyone who works in public health who either has gotten COVID, just found out they have COVID or may get COVID in the next couple of weeks, or maybe are worried that they might get COVID.
So, I actually started thinking about this episode a week or two ago, and it's funny sometimes this happens. I have an idea for an episode, ponder it, and write on it. And then, my lived experience happens, and it aligns with the episode topic. So, over the holidays, I went up to Tahoe with my family and my partner.
There was a lot going on, and it was a bit wild. There was, you know, an almost dog fight, we got snowed in, I hurt my thumb, my partner hurt his thumb in a different way a couple of days later. There was just, and we had to move a trip. We couldn't leave the day we planned to leave. There was just a lot going on, but we were all sequestered together by my family, partner, and me.
Tahoe got, gosh, like six or so feet of snow, at least where my mom is. The roads were closed, so the majority of the time we were there, we were there a total of almost two weeks. We didn't really see anyone. Especially the last week. That's when the big snowstorm hit. So, we were just stuck inside with each other, and we got out of the house twice, both to go get food for our sanity.
We were all kind of losing it. You know, you run out of games. You run out of shows. You kind of feel stir crazy, and so, we just went out to get some food. It wasn't very crowded. We all wore masks, and it was just with our family. And when I got back to Oakland from Tahoe, I started to feel a little tickling and swelling in my throat. When I come back from Tahoe in the winter, I always get a cold because of the climate change and the altitude change. I will say the weather change is pretty drastic in the wintertime between Oakland and Tahoe.
So, I just assumed I was getting my Tahoe cold. And the day after I started to feel that slightly, I felt a lot more symptoms, and it still was cold symptoms. But I looked for a test. There, of course, were no tests being sold in stores. They're all sold out. I searched for an hour or two for a testing location that had an appointment; all of them were booked about a week out. I finally got one through a community center for, and I think it was four days later.
I was isolated, I didn't see anyone, and those four days came, and I go to get tested and actually, my partner went and got tested the same day, but he could get tested through his work. So, his was much easier. And y'all, my testing experience this isn't, this isn't necessarily related to the episode, but it just as a side note, antidote, it was not great. I had an appointment at 11:15. I got there on time, ended up taking me four hours before I got my test.
This tested my patience, but I was just reminding myself that all of the staff are understaffed, stressed, and all of these people are just trying to make sure they're safe. So, I am glad the community is showing up. There's frustration with the limited tests, staffing, funding, response, and all of that, but I was just grateful that I had that. And I'm really glad I did because it turns out my test was positive.
I didn't think it would be positive. And up until I got my result when I was thinking about doing this episode, it wasn't because I was anticipating I was going to have COVID. It was more because I knew more and more people in public health who are getting COVID, and I knew how they were going to feel. I knew they were going to feel guilty about getting COVID. And why did I know this?
It wasn't because I was feeling guilty. It was because in the beginning of the pandemic in 2020, before vaccinations, when we were still wiping down our groceries with disinfectant and on full lockdown and masks were just becoming mandated and all of that. I had pretty severe health anxiety for a couple of months, and not necessarily about myself, but about me putting other people at risk. Me putting my parents especially at risk.
I ended up getting coaching from my coach, and what came up was this fear of future guilt that if something were to happen to them. It was remotely possible that either I gave it to them or I didn't give them enough advice. I didn't tell them enough of what they should and shouldn't be doing because I am the public health expert, right, the professional in the family? And if something were to happen, I was going to feel guilty, and I had to avoid that guilt at all costs.
So, I was trying to control everything, and I was panicked and freaking out. And I got a lot of coaching on that. And that was just potential guilt, and I worked through that. Since that time, I got a lot of support, and I worked through that mental pattern and those emotions I haven't done. I haven't had a fear of potential guilt or felt guilty. I've really been confident, and I'm doing what I can, and that's what I can do.
So, when I was going into my test, I didn't think I would feel guilty. And even when I got my positive test, I didn't feel guilty. But I knew that many of you, many of you right now, are feeling guilty, those of you who have gotten COVID. Or are you worrying about potential future guilt if you get COVID or someone you know gets COVID, right? Not because I'm like a special snowflake, but because I've gone through it already, and I did that work already in year one of the pandemic.
I will say even after getting my positive result, my brain still wants to offer me some guilt related thoughts, but because I've worked through it, I know how to react to them and how to move on from them and not take them so seriously. So, we're going to help you learn that today, and for you, maybe it's not exactly guilt. Maybe it feels more like shame, embarrassment, disappointment, or regret.
So, this episode is for you if you're feeling any of those ways about having gotten COVID or getting COVID or potentially exposing others to COVID. Part of the reason if you're feeling guilty for getting COVID is because the past two years, you've masked consistently even if your local ordinance didn't require it, you declined events and gatherings, even as your friends and family tried to talk you out of it, you've reduced travel in this holidays, you've argued online and in person about the importance of social distancing and mask mandates and vaccines, you've almost always, or a lot of the time tested before and after seeing people. You got vaccinated; you got boosted.
So, when you find out you have a COVID positive result feels like a failure, like a professional failure, and you have shock in a moment of, how could this be? And then, your brain starts going and thinking about all the times you've quote on quote, this is in quotes because I don't think this is accurate, but your brain will say, "you slipped up." Or, your brain will start telling you, you're a hypocrite.
You might notice that you're starting to tell yourself you should have known better not to go to that event or see those people or not wear your mask there or eat at that restaurant. Maybe you even spend so much mental energy trying to pinpoint the exact instance you probably got COVID to make yourself feel better. Because if you know the exact moment, then you could figure out, oh, it must have been out of my control, or I did absolutely everything I could. It wasn't anything that was my fault. It was other people's fault, right?
You try to figure out the exact cause and make sure it's not you. Like, it was that person not wearing a mask. Or you blame your family member for going to that event and then exposing you. And if your brain doesn't go to blaming someone else, it's going to blame you and shame you. That's what's happening in your head. The voice in your head telling you, you should've made sure this didn't happen. You're putting others at risk. You didn't do enough. You're a hypocrite.
Then, part of your brain starts to think, what will others think? What will my anti-vax family now think? Will they now never get a vaccine, never believe what I say? Will those ant-maskers I know now think public health is a hoax even more than they do? Will others in public health, my colleagues, judge me, my supervisor thinks I don't care? And then you start to think, how am I going to tell people? You try to craft how you tell people so that the story doesn't seem like you are reckless, or you don't care, or you're a bad public health professional.
And listen, this is the normal human brain, okay? We're going to talk through why are you thinking this way? But it's good to recognize that this is what's happening in your brain and also want you to know you're not alone. Okay? That the result of this thinking is simply you are being mean to yourself, guilt and shame serve no useful purpose, especially here in this instance. It doesn't reverse time, so you don't get COVID. It doesn't prevent others from getting COVID. All it does is ensure that mentally and emotionally, you are suffering on top of any physical suffering you're experiencing from getting COVID.
We think guilt, shame, embarrassment is necessary. In this situation, your brain thinks it's necessary as punishment, so you don't make "these mistakes" again. It also thinks it's necessary to prove that you do care about public health and you are one of the good people who believe in science. First of all, you do not need to punish yourself. You didn't do anything wrong. You are not in trouble.
You need to remind yourself that those prevention measures for COVID are just that, measures to try to prevent the spread. They aren't guaranteed, and there is no expectation of perfect use. In fact, there's no such thing as perfect use with COVID measures. Let's take it out of COVID for a second.
Let's think about an IUD. For those of you who might not be aware, IUDs are a form of birth control or contraception inserted into the cervix to prevent pregnancy. It is the most effective form of modern contraception. You don't have to take a pill every day. You don't have to remind yourself that you get it replaced every 5, 7, or 10 years depending on the one you have. It's just there; you don't have to do anything.
So, even if you were a quote, perfect user of an IUD to prevent pregnancy. So, it was inserted correctly into your cervix. You get it removed when you need to replace it in the recommended time frame. You can still get pregnant on an IUD. Okay? Even in that scenario, right? And we know that in public health, we know it's the best form of prevention, but we know it's not perfect.
And if you had a friend who got pregnant on an IUD, who didn't work in public health and came to you crying when they did find out they were pregnant. They said, well, they shouldn't have had sex at all, and it's their fault, and they should've known better, and they should have done better with their IUD, and they're the problem and all of this, what would you say to them?
You would probably say, listen, you did nothing wrong. You did everything you could. You took the initiative. You were protecting yourself. You were using a prevention method, the best we have in the field. You did nothing wrong. The same goes for you here with COVID. All of the COVID prevention measures are not 100% guaranteed to work, and you are not expected to be a perfect user of them, even if you work in public health.
There is no, and I should've done better because I work in public health. No, you did your absolute best, and you still got COVID, and that is okay. Beating yourself up over that is pointless. It's just causing you mental and emotional suffering and taking your energy away from focusing on getting your physical health better, and that is the last thing you need to do right now.
Then, secondly, you do not need to prove you are one of the good people who believe in science, right? If you have found out recently that you've gotten COVID, you notice your brain is doing this. If you haven't gotten COVID, you might not quite understand why your brain would do this, but let me walk you through, and you'll see why this happens. The only reason your brain goes to thinking that you have to prove that you do believe in public health and you're one of the good people is because you've been holding judgment of people who get COVID.
Now, stay with me. In your mind, in all of our minds, all of our brains do this, consciously or not, you have been holding a belief about people who get COVID. So, you may have a belief that, oh, it makes sense. There are high rates of COVID among specific communities, or that specific individuals get COVID. They don't have full protection. They don't have sick leave. They have to work. They have high exposure, same for doctors, grocery store clerks, and teachers.
So, when you hear about someone you know in your profession or about that community getting COVID, you have empathy for them. But when you hear about COVID incidents among anti-maskers or anti-vaxxers, you don't respond with empathy. And there is a line in your head that goes about, and they should have known better, of course, they got it, no wonder they got it, that makes total sense, maybe they will learn, maybe the people around them will learn, they brought it on themselves, they could have prevented it, they are part of the problem.
Now, listen, I'm not calling this out to shame you. All of our brains have been doing this in public health, and it makes sense. We're two years into a pandemic. We are exhausted. We're burnout, right? It makes total sense. But it's really important that you see what's going on here and understand why you are judging yourself so harshly for getting COVID. That's because, intentionally or not, you have been judging other people who have gotten COVID. Consciously or not, you've been judging other people for not wearing masks, not social distancing.
When you go to a store restaurant, you kind of have a mental check. Oh, they're wearing masks, they're not, and your brain goes to they're good, they care, they're not, they don't care; they're selfish. We all do this, including me; we all do this. But it's important for you to recognize that because what's happening now that you have COVID, your brain has turned the judgment against you.
For months you've been categorizing the reasons people are getting COVID in two judgments. It makes sense. They got it; it doesn't make sense, they deserved it, they didn't, they brought it on themselves, they couldn't avoid it. Now, your brain is using that same pattern on yourself, and you're reacting to it by either punishing yourself or by trying to prove you are a good science believer. You did everything you could. Neither approach nor response to your brain right now and how it's judging you is helping. It's just exhausting you and putting you in circles.
This is the part where you drop the self-judgment, and yes, we're going to talk about dropping the judgment of others in a future episode. But judging, shaming, and blaming yourself for getting COVID isn't helping you. It's only hurting you. You did what you could to prevent the spread of it and prevent yourself from getting it. You were not a perfect user of the prevention measures, nor were you expected to be. And even if you were a perfect user of the measures which that doesn't even exist but let's just give it to you, it wouldn't guarantee you wouldn't get it.
So, punishing yourself for getting it prevents and delays you from getting better. Judging yourself for getting COVID just creates emotional suffering for yourself, neither of which is productive or useful. Getting COVID doesn't make you a public health professional failure. It doesn't discount public health as a field. It doesn't make you look stupid to anti-masking friends and family. Those who hold opposing beliefs, who don't believe in public health or masks or vaccines or whatever it may be, or science in general, right? Their beliefs are not determined or strengthened or weakened by you getting COVID.
You getting COVID does not cause your anti-vax brother to believe stronger now that vaccines don't work than he did before. How do we know? Well, for the six months, eight months, a year, however long you did have a vaccine and didn't get COVID during that period, did that happening weaken their belief that vaccines don't work? Did they go? Hmm, well, they got vaccinated, and they haven't gotten COVID in a year. Maybe I'm wrong, and maybe the vaccine does work? No. You not getting COVID didn't cause or change their belief about the vaccine.
The same goes for you getting COVID. It doesn't cause, strengthen, or weaken their belief about the vaccine, and the same for masks and public health and whatever else you are worried about. Let people think, let them think, or believe whatever they may. It's not your problem. You can't control it. You can't change it. You're not the cause of it. Let that go. Your work is to give yourself rest, take care of yourself physically, take care of yourself as you recover, whatever that means, sleep, hydrate, take time off work, and emotionally process whatever emotions of guilt, shame, or sadness you might have as they come up.
Recognize that they're there, but notice your brain. Let the emotion be in your body, but notice your brain. Don't react to your brain. Don't believe everything your brain is saying. Mentally give yourself a break and stop beating up on yourself. It does nobody any good, especially you. The best example you can be in public health for yourself and your community and your colleagues and your friends and even your anti-vax and anti-mask community, family, friends, whoever you know, is to prioritize your health.
That is the best example. That is public health, not being mean to yourself, not beating yourself up. So, get some rest and send this episode to someone you know who has gotten COVID and works in public health because I guarantee you, they're thinking the same thing. They're doing the same thing, and it needs to stop, and everyone needs to be more kinder and more gentle and more compassionate with themselves. Okay, y'all?
While you're at it, I would love, appreciate so much if you could rate and review this podcast wherever you listen. Right now, our community more than ever needs support with their mental health and emotional processing and dealing with the overwhelm, just like support accepting they got covid and stop being mean to themselves.
I have so many more episodes coming out over the next two months to do exactly that. We're all going through it, but we can all help each other out by supporting our mental health, and one way you can do that is to rate and review this podcast and talk about how it's helped you so other public health professionals can find it and get the same help. And send it to someone, share it on your social media. Help us all help you help yourself, and help others help themselves by getting this support and resources.
Lastly, for those of you who have been listening to the last couple of weeks, those of you are new, I have a burnout recovery resolution mini-course coming out publicly on February 7th. I guarantee you that it will help you with the overwhelm and exhaustion you're having because of this surge. So, if you want to check it out or learn more, go to my website McKoolCoaching.com/course, and we'll leave a link in the show notes. Alright, everyone, have a beautiful week. We'll chat next week. Bye-bye.
Are you ready to make a change? Whether that's learning to love your job, making a career move, or anything in between, I can help. I'd be honored to coach you through figuring out what's next and navigating the steps to get there. So, head on over to mckoolcoaching.com/consult that's mckoolcoaching.com/consult to set up a time to chat and talk about how you can achieve the career of your dreams.
Welcome healthcare professionals. I am so glad you are here with me again for another episode. I know we have a lot of new listeners. Welcome. I am glad you're coming to the community to get some support, tips, and resources to help you manage your stress and overwhelm. Especially right now during these times. I'm really excited to be recording again. It's been several weeks.
I took some time off over the holiday season, and now I am back recording. I mean, the episodes have kept coming out. So, hopefully, you have been listening, and if you're new, you can go back to listen to those. But it feels good to be back recording and talking to you all. I'm recording a three-part series for the rest of January to give you all tips, resources, guidance, and support for handling the stress of the current COVID surge.
In March of 2020, I remember myself included, and everyone else in public health that I was around really struggled. There was hyperintense awareness around public health, like, on the largest scale. We were all overwhelmed. There was so much uncertainty, so much worry, and also pressure. And now, two years in that has continued in a different way, but now with Omicron, it's kind of reminiscent of March 2020.
So, I know many of you have similar feelings and experiences of overwhelm, stress, isolation, uncertainty, worry, and burnout. And it's just intensified because it's two years into this. So, my hope is with the next several episodes, which are going to be specific to challenges you might be facing during this surge, it will help you find some relief. Help you get a tool or a trick to help you reduce your stress and your overwhelm. Maybe not completely, but enough for you to breathe, right? And for you to find some calm and some peace, have just some moments for yourself.
So, today we're going to be talking about when you, the public health professional, gets COVID. Next week we're going to be talking about the politics of public health, struggling with the political nature of the pandemic, and issues with policies and access and all of that. And the last week of January, we're going to be talking about how you can deal with anti-vaxxers or anti-maskers, or any anti-public health; family members, friends, community members, news, social media, all of that stuff.
So, if you know someone in public health, a colleague, a friend who is also struggling and might find these topics helpful, the coaching around these topics helpful, please, please, please send them this episode. Send them future episodes so we can help more of our community, our internal workforce community, weather this storm. So, today's episode is for anyone who works in public health who either has gotten COVID, just found out they have COVID or may get COVID in the next couple of weeks, or maybe are worried that they might get COVID.
So, I actually started thinking about this episode a week or two ago, and it's funny sometimes this happens. I have an idea for an episode, ponder it, and write on it. And then, my lived experience happens, and it aligns with the episode topic. So, over the holidays, I went up to Tahoe with my family and my partner.
There was a lot going on, and it was a bit wild. There was, you know, an almost dog fight, we got snowed in, I hurt my thumb, my partner hurt his thumb in a different way a couple of days later. There was just, and we had to move a trip. We couldn't leave the day we planned to leave. There was just a lot going on, but we were all sequestered together by my family, partner, and me.
Tahoe got, gosh, like six or so feet of snow, at least where my mom is. The roads were closed, so the majority of the time we were there, we were there a total of almost two weeks. We didn't really see anyone. Especially the last week. That's when the big snowstorm hit. So, we were just stuck inside with each other, and we got out of the house twice, both to go get food for our sanity.
We were all kind of losing it. You know, you run out of games. You run out of shows. You kind of feel stir crazy, and so, we just went out to get some food. It wasn't very crowded. We all wore masks, and it was just with our family. And when I got back to Oakland from Tahoe, I started to feel a little tickling and swelling in my throat. When I come back from Tahoe in the winter, I always get a cold because of the climate change and the altitude change. I will say the weather change is pretty drastic in the wintertime between Oakland and Tahoe.
So, I just assumed I was getting my Tahoe cold. And the day after I started to feel that slightly, I felt a lot more symptoms, and it still was cold symptoms. But I looked for a test. There, of course, were no tests being sold in stores. They're all sold out. I searched for an hour or two for a testing location that had an appointment; all of them were booked about a week out. I finally got one through a community center for, and I think it was four days later.
I was isolated, I didn't see anyone, and those four days came, and I go to get tested and actually, my partner went and got tested the same day, but he could get tested through his work. So, his was much easier. And y'all, my testing experience this isn't, this isn't necessarily related to the episode, but it just as a side note, antidote, it was not great. I had an appointment at 11:15. I got there on time, ended up taking me four hours before I got my test.
This tested my patience, but I was just reminding myself that all of the staff are understaffed, stressed, and all of these people are just trying to make sure they're safe. So, I am glad the community is showing up. There's frustration with the limited tests, staffing, funding, response, and all of that, but I was just grateful that I had that. And I'm really glad I did because it turns out my test was positive.
I didn't think it would be positive. And up until I got my result when I was thinking about doing this episode, it wasn't because I was anticipating I was going to have COVID. It was more because I knew more and more people in public health who are getting COVID, and I knew how they were going to feel. I knew they were going to feel guilty about getting COVID. And why did I know this?
It wasn't because I was feeling guilty. It was because in the beginning of the pandemic in 2020, before vaccinations, when we were still wiping down our groceries with disinfectant and on full lockdown and masks were just becoming mandated and all of that. I had pretty severe health anxiety for a couple of months, and not necessarily about myself, but about me putting other people at risk. Me putting my parents especially at risk.
I ended up getting coaching from my coach, and what came up was this fear of future guilt that if something were to happen to them. It was remotely possible that either I gave it to them or I didn't give them enough advice. I didn't tell them enough of what they should and shouldn't be doing because I am the public health expert, right, the professional in the family? And if something were to happen, I was going to feel guilty, and I had to avoid that guilt at all costs.
So, I was trying to control everything, and I was panicked and freaking out. And I got a lot of coaching on that. And that was just potential guilt, and I worked through that. Since that time, I got a lot of support, and I worked through that mental pattern and those emotions I haven't done. I haven't had a fear of potential guilt or felt guilty. I've really been confident, and I'm doing what I can, and that's what I can do.
So, when I was going into my test, I didn't think I would feel guilty. And even when I got my positive test, I didn't feel guilty. But I knew that many of you, many of you right now, are feeling guilty, those of you who have gotten COVID. Or are you worrying about potential future guilt if you get COVID or someone you know gets COVID, right? Not because I'm like a special snowflake, but because I've gone through it already, and I did that work already in year one of the pandemic.
I will say even after getting my positive result, my brain still wants to offer me some guilt related thoughts, but because I've worked through it, I know how to react to them and how to move on from them and not take them so seriously. So, we're going to help you learn that today, and for you, maybe it's not exactly guilt. Maybe it feels more like shame, embarrassment, disappointment, or regret.
So, this episode is for you if you're feeling any of those ways about having gotten COVID or getting COVID or potentially exposing others to COVID. Part of the reason if you're feeling guilty for getting COVID is because the past two years, you've masked consistently even if your local ordinance didn't require it, you declined events and gatherings, even as your friends and family tried to talk you out of it, you've reduced travel in this holidays, you've argued online and in person about the importance of social distancing and mask mandates and vaccines, you've almost always, or a lot of the time tested before and after seeing people. You got vaccinated; you got boosted.
So, when you find out you have a COVID positive result feels like a failure, like a professional failure, and you have shock in a moment of, how could this be? And then, your brain starts going and thinking about all the times you've quote on quote, this is in quotes because I don't think this is accurate, but your brain will say, "you slipped up." Or, your brain will start telling you, you're a hypocrite.
You might notice that you're starting to tell yourself you should have known better not to go to that event or see those people or not wear your mask there or eat at that restaurant. Maybe you even spend so much mental energy trying to pinpoint the exact instance you probably got COVID to make yourself feel better. Because if you know the exact moment, then you could figure out, oh, it must have been out of my control, or I did absolutely everything I could. It wasn't anything that was my fault. It was other people's fault, right?
You try to figure out the exact cause and make sure it's not you. Like, it was that person not wearing a mask. Or you blame your family member for going to that event and then exposing you. And if your brain doesn't go to blaming someone else, it's going to blame you and shame you. That's what's happening in your head. The voice in your head telling you, you should've made sure this didn't happen. You're putting others at risk. You didn't do enough. You're a hypocrite.
Then, part of your brain starts to think, what will others think? What will my anti-vax family now think? Will they now never get a vaccine, never believe what I say? Will those ant-maskers I know now think public health is a hoax even more than they do? Will others in public health, my colleagues, judge me, my supervisor thinks I don't care? And then you start to think, how am I going to tell people? You try to craft how you tell people so that the story doesn't seem like you are reckless, or you don't care, or you're a bad public health professional.
And listen, this is the normal human brain, okay? We're going to talk through why are you thinking this way? But it's good to recognize that this is what's happening in your brain and also want you to know you're not alone. Okay? That the result of this thinking is simply you are being mean to yourself, guilt and shame serve no useful purpose, especially here in this instance. It doesn't reverse time, so you don't get COVID. It doesn't prevent others from getting COVID. All it does is ensure that mentally and emotionally, you are suffering on top of any physical suffering you're experiencing from getting COVID.
We think guilt, shame, embarrassment is necessary. In this situation, your brain thinks it's necessary as punishment, so you don't make "these mistakes" again. It also thinks it's necessary to prove that you do care about public health and you are one of the good people who believe in science. First of all, you do not need to punish yourself. You didn't do anything wrong. You are not in trouble.
You need to remind yourself that those prevention measures for COVID are just that, measures to try to prevent the spread. They aren't guaranteed, and there is no expectation of perfect use. In fact, there's no such thing as perfect use with COVID measures. Let's take it out of COVID for a second.
Let's think about an IUD. For those of you who might not be aware, IUDs are a form of birth control or contraception inserted into the cervix to prevent pregnancy. It is the most effective form of modern contraception. You don't have to take a pill every day. You don't have to remind yourself that you get it replaced every 5, 7, or 10 years depending on the one you have. It's just there; you don't have to do anything.
So, even if you were a quote, perfect user of an IUD to prevent pregnancy. So, it was inserted correctly into your cervix. You get it removed when you need to replace it in the recommended time frame. You can still get pregnant on an IUD. Okay? Even in that scenario, right? And we know that in public health, we know it's the best form of prevention, but we know it's not perfect.
And if you had a friend who got pregnant on an IUD, who didn't work in public health and came to you crying when they did find out they were pregnant. They said, well, they shouldn't have had sex at all, and it's their fault, and they should've known better, and they should have done better with their IUD, and they're the problem and all of this, what would you say to them?
You would probably say, listen, you did nothing wrong. You did everything you could. You took the initiative. You were protecting yourself. You were using a prevention method, the best we have in the field. You did nothing wrong. The same goes for you here with COVID. All of the COVID prevention measures are not 100% guaranteed to work, and you are not expected to be a perfect user of them, even if you work in public health.
There is no, and I should've done better because I work in public health. No, you did your absolute best, and you still got COVID, and that is okay. Beating yourself up over that is pointless. It's just causing you mental and emotional suffering and taking your energy away from focusing on getting your physical health better, and that is the last thing you need to do right now.
Then, secondly, you do not need to prove you are one of the good people who believe in science, right? If you have found out recently that you've gotten COVID, you notice your brain is doing this. If you haven't gotten COVID, you might not quite understand why your brain would do this, but let me walk you through, and you'll see why this happens. The only reason your brain goes to thinking that you have to prove that you do believe in public health and you're one of the good people is because you've been holding judgment of people who get COVID.
Now, stay with me. In your mind, in all of our minds, all of our brains do this, consciously or not, you have been holding a belief about people who get COVID. So, you may have a belief that, oh, it makes sense. There are high rates of COVID among specific communities, or that specific individuals get COVID. They don't have full protection. They don't have sick leave. They have to work. They have high exposure, same for doctors, grocery store clerks, and teachers.
So, when you hear about someone you know in your profession or about that community getting COVID, you have empathy for them. But when you hear about COVID incidents among anti-maskers or anti-vaxxers, you don't respond with empathy. And there is a line in your head that goes about, and they should have known better, of course, they got it, no wonder they got it, that makes total sense, maybe they will learn, maybe the people around them will learn, they brought it on themselves, they could have prevented it, they are part of the problem.
Now, listen, I'm not calling this out to shame you. All of our brains have been doing this in public health, and it makes sense. We're two years into a pandemic. We are exhausted. We're burnout, right? It makes total sense. But it's really important that you see what's going on here and understand why you are judging yourself so harshly for getting COVID. That's because, intentionally or not, you have been judging other people who have gotten COVID. Consciously or not, you've been judging other people for not wearing masks, not social distancing.
When you go to a store restaurant, you kind of have a mental check. Oh, they're wearing masks, they're not, and your brain goes to they're good, they care, they're not, they don't care; they're selfish. We all do this, including me; we all do this. But it's important for you to recognize that because what's happening now that you have COVID, your brain has turned the judgment against you.
For months you've been categorizing the reasons people are getting COVID in two judgments. It makes sense. They got it; it doesn't make sense, they deserved it, they didn't, they brought it on themselves, they couldn't avoid it. Now, your brain is using that same pattern on yourself, and you're reacting to it by either punishing yourself or by trying to prove you are a good science believer. You did everything you could. Neither approach nor response to your brain right now and how it's judging you is helping. It's just exhausting you and putting you in circles.
This is the part where you drop the self-judgment, and yes, we're going to talk about dropping the judgment of others in a future episode. But judging, shaming, and blaming yourself for getting COVID isn't helping you. It's only hurting you. You did what you could to prevent the spread of it and prevent yourself from getting it. You were not a perfect user of the prevention measures, nor were you expected to be. And even if you were a perfect user of the measures which that doesn't even exist but let's just give it to you, it wouldn't guarantee you wouldn't get it.
So, punishing yourself for getting it prevents and delays you from getting better. Judging yourself for getting COVID just creates emotional suffering for yourself, neither of which is productive or useful. Getting COVID doesn't make you a public health professional failure. It doesn't discount public health as a field. It doesn't make you look stupid to anti-masking friends and family. Those who hold opposing beliefs, who don't believe in public health or masks or vaccines or whatever it may be, or science in general, right? Their beliefs are not determined or strengthened or weakened by you getting COVID.
You getting COVID does not cause your anti-vax brother to believe stronger now that vaccines don't work than he did before. How do we know? Well, for the six months, eight months, a year, however long you did have a vaccine and didn't get COVID during that period, did that happening weaken their belief that vaccines don't work? Did they go? Hmm, well, they got vaccinated, and they haven't gotten COVID in a year. Maybe I'm wrong, and maybe the vaccine does work? No. You not getting COVID didn't cause or change their belief about the vaccine.
The same goes for you getting COVID. It doesn't cause, strengthen, or weaken their belief about the vaccine, and the same for masks and public health and whatever else you are worried about. Let people think, let them think, or believe whatever they may. It's not your problem. You can't control it. You can't change it. You're not the cause of it. Let that go. Your work is to give yourself rest, take care of yourself physically, take care of yourself as you recover, whatever that means, sleep, hydrate, take time off work, and emotionally process whatever emotions of guilt, shame, or sadness you might have as they come up.
Recognize that they're there, but notice your brain. Let the emotion be in your body, but notice your brain. Don't react to your brain. Don't believe everything your brain is saying. Mentally give yourself a break and stop beating up on yourself. It does nobody any good, especially you. The best example you can be in public health for yourself and your community and your colleagues and your friends and even your anti-vax and anti-mask community, family, friends, whoever you know, is to prioritize your health.
That is the best example. That is public health, not being mean to yourself, not beating yourself up. So, get some rest and send this episode to someone you know who has gotten COVID and works in public health because I guarantee you, they're thinking the same thing. They're doing the same thing, and it needs to stop, and everyone needs to be more kinder and more gentle and more compassionate with themselves. Okay, y'all?
While you're at it, I would love, appreciate so much if you could rate and review this podcast wherever you listen. Right now, our community more than ever needs support with their mental health and emotional processing and dealing with the overwhelm, just like support accepting they got covid and stop being mean to themselves.
I have so many more episodes coming out over the next two months to do exactly that. We're all going through it, but we can all help each other out by supporting our mental health, and one way you can do that is to rate and review this podcast and talk about how it's helped you so other public health professionals can find it and get the same help. And send it to someone, share it on your social media. Help us all help you help yourself, and help others help themselves by getting this support and resources.
Lastly, for those of you who have been listening to the last couple of weeks, those of you are new, I have a burnout recovery resolution mini-course coming out publicly on February 7th. I guarantee you that it will help you with the overwhelm and exhaustion you're having because of this surge. So, if you want to check it out or learn more, go to my website McKoolCoaching.com/course, and we'll leave a link in the show notes. Alright, everyone, have a beautiful week. We'll chat next week. Bye-bye.
Are you ready to make a change? Whether that's learning to love your job, making a career move, or anything in between, I can help. I'd be honored to coach you through figuring out what's next and navigating the steps to get there. So, head on over to mckoolcoaching.com/consult that's mckoolcoaching.com/consult to set up a time to chat and talk about how you can achieve the career of your dreams.
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