114. Mid-Year Check In
Sometimes, when summer hits, it can feel like the year is already over. This week, I offer a new perspective for viewing the next six months with tactics for continuing to work toward your goals. We break down thought patterns and emphasize the importance of giving yourself credit.
Progress is non-linear; it's not always what you think it is. When we can honor this, we build ourselves up rather than getting stuck in our negativity bias. Celebrating small moments of progress and practicing this skill will change your ability to achieve your goals.
In this episode, I provide tools for approaching your goals and expectations with a fresh eye. Learn about negativity bias and scarcity mindset, and discover how to quantify your success. It's not too late to work toward something you want. Tune in to discover mantras to use over these next six months to stay on track toward your goals.
To celebrate reaching over 15,000 downloads, I’m hosting a giveaway! You could win a $300 gift card to a local spa near you, the books Burnout by Emily and Amelia Nagoski and Rest is Restraint by Tricia Hersey, and a Worthy Sweatshirt by Health Equity Jazz.
All you have to do is click here to enter and follow the instructions!
What You Will Discover:
How to combat negativity bias.
What you can do to build momentum.
Methods for quantifying your successes.
How to cultivate pride.
What our brains overestimate and underestimate.
What to believe for the rest of the year.
Resources:
Sign up for a Curiosity Call to find out if individual coaching can help you!
Learn more about my 1:1 coaching program here!
Follow me on Instagram!
Questions? Comments? I'd love to hear from you! Email me at info@mckoolcoaching.com
Join my weekly mailing list to learn about a HUGE Podcast Giveaway, bonus free resources, and coaching opportunities!
Get my free masterclass: How to Delegate and Reduce Your Workload
Full Episode Transcript:
Hey you all, I’m Marissa McKool, and you’re listening to the Redefining Rest Podcast for Public Health Professionals. Here we believe rest is your right. You don’t have to earn it, you just have to learn how to take it and I’m going to teach you. Ready? Come along.
Hi, everyone. How are you? What are you up to? Are you listening to this the day it comes out, July 3rd or after the July 4th holiday? Were you camping? Were you on a trip? What has been going on with you? I just got back from working out. I normally don't work out in the morning. I’m normally an after work kind of gal, I like to get it all out and separate my work and my evening. But I did it this morning because I'm leaving this afternoon to go out of town.
So I’m recording this podcast for you all and then I have two coaching calls with my one-on-one clients. And then I'm taking the rest of the week off, which I'm really looking forward to. If you are new here, if you’re a newer listener, welcome, I am so, so glad you're here. Welcome to our community. The whole goal of this podcast is to help you week after week reduce your stress, get more rest, have more time for you and achieve your goals. And this episode is going to be related to the goal aspect of that mission, of that aim.
But first, maybe you haven't heard, we’re doing a podcast giveaway as we speak. Now, you can win a 300 spa gift card. This is a local gift card near where you live. If you are selected as a winner for this prize I will reach out and we’ll figure out the spa to get you a gift card to. For most people that will get you well over an hour massage or a facial or several pedicures. That’s a lot of money to treat yourself, to pamper yourself.
There's also another prize for getting the books on burnout and rest, two of my favorite which I gift my clients all the time. One is Burnout by Amelia and Emily Nagoski. And the other is a recent release by Trisha Hersey, Rest is Resistance, which I could not put down. It aligns so much with the philosophy of this podcast, with what I teach. So I promise you, you will get so much out of that book.
Both of those books really talk about burnout and rest in the context of a society that is based on the patriarchy and white supremacy and hustle culture which I think is really important in the discussion of reducing stress, getting more rest and achieving goals that's missing in so many spaces.
And then our final prize is a worthy sweatshirt from Health Equity Jazz, Jasmine Leonard. If you don't follow Jasmine, go check her out on Instagram, Health Equity Jazz. She has an amazing sweatshirt that on the front says Worthy. And it’s a reminder you are worthy no matter how much you do. So here's the deal. There is a link in the show notes. After this episode I want you to look in the show notes and I’ll remind you at the very end but click that giveaway link. Now, I’m going to go through very, very briefly and then we’ll get into the episode, don’t you worry, the instructions.
Because I want to make sure that you are able to do this seamlessly and easily so you can get these prizes. It might sound complicated as I’m sharing it but it is absolutely not. And when you click the link there is also a video instruction to help you. So when you click the giveaway link, what will happen is you’ll be redirected to a webpage. It will have the details on the giveaway and then you’ll enter your name and email. And then when you enter that, a popup will come up and it will prompt you to rate and review this podcast on Apple Podcasts.
And you want to click the hyperlink that pops up, that redirects you directly to where you can review on Apple Podcasts. In order to qualify for the giveaway you do have to rate and review the podcast, but don’t worry, it’s very, very easy and there’s a video to show you if you’ve never reviewed a podcast. If you're having any issues I have a video that I recorded for you. It’s three minutes. But you’ll get redirected to Apple, then you’ll scroll down and under the reviews, you’ll click, Write a Review.
And then you’ll rate and write your review and you’ll write in a title for it. Remember your title because you will go back, once you hit the send to send your review, you’ll go back to your web browser where the UpViral kind of giveaway campaign is. And the second step, which you’ll be prompted to do is put in your review title. This ensures you get additional points. Basically the way the giveaway works is the top three people with the most points get the prizes.
So once you have done that, you’ve entered your name and email, you reviewed and rated the podcast on Apple and you submitted the title of your review, you’ll get base points but then you can get even more points. Stay on that UpViral page, you scroll down and you'll see a bunch of links to share the giveaway on LinkedIn, on Instagram, on Facebook, on Twitter. And for each share you get a certain amount of bonus points. And you want to do the share from that UpViral confirmation page because it will track it for you. It makes it super easy.
And I know as I walk through this it might sound complicated but it’s not. It’s so, so easy. As I said, I recorded a video showing you how to do it and took three minutes. it will take you even less because for me I was explaining it, so that’s why it even took three minutes, it would take way less than that. So it’s really, really easy. The top three entries with the most points get these amazing, amazing prizes. So I’ll remind you at the end, don't worry, but let’s jump into the episode.
So I didn't know what to call this podcast but I’ve been thinking a lot about, at the new year, so many of us feel motivated for change, whether you set formal goals or not. And if you've been a listener for a while you know at the beginning of this year I put out a couple of episodes related to setting goals. And I think a lot of us we have this excitement, this hope, this inspiration for the new year of what we want to be different. We have this belief it's possible.
And then if you’re anything like me, it comes to summertime and it’s kind of a trick because my brain almost thinks, well, the year is basically over. And my brain always thinks about all the things I didn't do, what I didn't do enough of, what I didn’t keep up with, where I wasn't consistent. And the idea of checking in on where I’m at and continuing to motivate myself or even create new goals moving forward feels daunting. So if you’re like me, this episode is going to help you with that.
And you do not have to feel daunted by using the last six months of the year to help you achieve whatever formal or informal goals you have, help you grow, help you change. And it really starts with changing the way we’re thinking about the past six months. So here are some reasons why you might be feeling a little shitty about your goals this time of year, whether or not you set formal goals in January. Some of you didn't but maybe you had an internal idea of what you wanted to change this year.
Maybe you didn't set a formal goal in January but somewhere in the past six months you did set a formal goal. For me about two months ago I set a workout and weight loss goal. I didn’t set that in January but I set it about two months ago. And some of you did set more formal goals at the beginning of the year, which I did too. And I’ll share an example a little later on. Or for some of you, maybe right now you do have something in mind, something’s come up for the rest of the year, an idea you have or an area you want to grow but you don't think it's possible or worth putting in the effort.
Like I said, at least for me it feels like when summer rolls around, we just feel like the year’s almost over, that there's no point on working on our goal anymore, setting a new one. And I don’t really know why that is. I have some hypotheses. I don’t know if part of it is because for so many of us going through at least the US school system, our year for decades on end was actually September or August to May or June. And so when summer hits it feels like the end of the year.
It’s subconsciously unconsciously we’re so trained even though many of us have been out of school for decades, that summer feels like the year’s over. Or it might be because you’re feeling a little guilt or shame about not getting as far in your goal as you had hoped or kind of stopping working towards it, losing momentum in the spring. Or believing you haven't gotten ‘far enough’. My dog, you probably couldn’t hear that, but she just in her sleep, exasperated. She was like, “That sounds like BS.”
Or maybe you’re in a place where you have a lot of summer trips, maybe you have kids and they’re out of school. And then you’re thinking, well, for holiday season there’s so much that goes on and it just goes really fast. And it seems like the year's over already. And we kind of give up, whether you’re conscious of it or not. And listen, me too, we’re in the same boat here. And I’ve been thinking about this more and more.
And I think there’s a couple of pieces we don't really talk about enough around this time of year around checking in on our goals and really building momentum to continue working on them. And that is negativity bias in our brain and scarcity mindset. And we'll talk about the scarcity piece in a second. But let’s first talk about the negativity bias. Our brain is always looking for what could or has gone wrong. This is a part of our brain’s functioning and it really is a survival mechanism.
Thousands of years ago if you were a hunter and gatherer, or your ancestors who were hunters and gatherers, it's better that the brain remembers which berry is deadly then focus on being proud that you picked a full basket of fruit. So our brains might end up hyper focusing on picking one bad berry because that could mean death and not surviving rather than focusing on being proud of all the other safe berries you picked.
But now in our modern life, especially if you’re listening to this podcast, our brains usually are continuing to operate from this negativity bias, when our personal and professional goals don’t put us in physical threat. We are physically safe, evolutionary survival is probably not a risk based on your personal goals, maybe it is, but for most people I find that’s not the case. I think on top of that, we live in a society that is teaching us always seek perfection. And it teaches us in indirect and indirect subtle ways.
And we end up putting ourselves down and feeling bad for ourselves when we don't achieve something or we don't do it perfectly, which just adds to this negativity bias. So of course you don’t feel proud of what you've achieved or what you've done because you’re told you can’t feel proud if it’s not perfect, if you didn’t ‘do enough’. And lastly, we also are taught that the point of goals is to get to the end of the rainbow, that pot of gold and achieve it. And that’s what makes you worthy and valuable.
Most discussion, intentional or not, direct or indirect is about the achievement of the goal. And we neglect to discuss the journey of it, which in truth when you really think of it is the most important part. That’s where your growth happens. That is where your internal evolution, for example, happens. That is where you build strength and courage and can access pride and get to know yourself and so many other things. But we don't talk about that stuff.
So we think, if we haven't achieved it, if we haven’t gotten to the end of it then we’ve failed. I can’t feel good. We make it mean something about us, our worth, our ability, our capacity. And none of that is true. However, our brain’s think it is and this makes setting and achieving goals feel so hard. And I struggle with this big time, it’s not just you, and so do many of my clients. So today we’re going to talk about how you can shift out of that, how you can feel proud of yourself of what you have done so far this year, whether or not you’ve ‘accomplished your goal’.
And how you can stop shaming yourself for what you haven't done and how you can build momentum and motivation and excitement for what you will achieve in the next six months of the year. To feel excited, to have belief, to want to work towards something in the next six months, whether it’s a new goal or continuing one you set before.
So the first piece is intentionally find and give yourself credit that you deserve. Again, we have this negativity bias that our brain will always look for the ‘negative’. You have to intentionally redirect your brain to find the positive, to find the credit you deserve, to find the ways you have shown up and create that pride for yourself. Because right now when your brain’s operating from that negativity bias, it’s not telling you the whole story.
It's like as if someone went to a conference for example, and only presented half of the data from their analysis. That’s not the whole story. That doesn't tell a whole picture, it skews it. You have to go collect the other evidence. Whether you set a formal goal this year or not, you have achieved so much, you’re not realizing or recognizing.
Here is an example from my life. The beginning of the year I set a formal goal, a revenue goal for my business. As of now halfway point of year, I am only about a quarter of the way there. If you were to do the math, halfway through the year, the goal is to be halfway to my revenue goal. I’m not, I’m less than that. And my brain wants to look at that and see it as a failure and give up on achieving my goal the rest of the year. It keeps telling me it's not possible, how could that be, I can’t make up that much gain. I’m so far behind.
And you know what I decided to do? I decided to sit down and look at all my progress, what I have done, all the changes in my business for the past six months, not just total revenue. And it was a treasure trove of information that my brain was leaving out. So here’s what I found out. Even though I have not near made as close to the amount of money I would like to have made by midpoint in order to meet my annual goal. Consistently every single month the number of new visitors, meaning new folks coming to my website has increased.
And in fact I had the biggest month of new visitors to my website ever in the history of my business. In these six months I have had more people sign up and take my free course, How to Delegate to Reduce Your Workload in six months than I had taking my free course from 2022 in all of last year. And all of my social media metrics from followers, shares, all that stuff has increased exponentially, not only that.
When I looked deeper into the actual financial numbers, even though I’m only a quarter of the way to my financial goal this year, when really mathematically it ‘should be half’. Looking at this year compared to last year, I have made double at the same point this year than I had last year at the same time. And most importantly, not only did, have I made double in the same amount of time. This year I feel so much more emotionally centered and calm and confident in my business than ever, ever before.
And in all my marketing and all my social media, I feel so much more connected to all of you. And being able to build that rapport and build that relationship and build this community all while this year taking a whole month off in April, which I’ve never done before. Listen, all that context matters. It’s like if I came to a conference and I was presenting on one metric that seemed to be negative and my coworker was like, “Hey, wait, here is this huge stack of papers that shows all the other metrics that have gone up, that have changed, that have improved.”
Those of you who have done evaluation, all of the metrics matter, they all contribute to the story, not just one. Right now all of you, your brain’s overlooking the whole context. Your brain’s picking out the metrics that just show you haven't done enough, you should give up. When there's so many other metrics you're not looking at and you’re overlooking. And you have to intentionally go find it. That’s what I had to do too, it takes work but it's so, so worth it.
Intentionally find the evidence that you have made progress, that you have created success, that you have grown, that there are things to be proud of. I promise, promise, promise you, it is there. Also it doesn't take that long to do. So if your brain’s like, “Oh, that will take forever.” Your brain’s a liar, my brain said that too. It took me an hour maybe. And that was me digging up business data. Your evidence you might be seeking might be so much easier and quicker to get.
So maybe you made a weight loss goal and your brain is so focused on the number on the scale, what else could you look at? Maybe you can review your Apple watch stats across months of how many days you worked out or hit your standing goal or hit your exercise goal. Or maybe can pull up your calendar or your workout class schedule or app and see how many times you went to a workout class. Maybe you can check in with yourself of how you feel emotionally with increasing your movement or workouts, how your mental health has improved, how you’ve made friends.
Maybe your goal has been to get a new job and your brain is focused on I don't have a new job yet. Instead of focusing on that, where else could you find context and evidence and metrics? Maybe review the total number of applications you’ve submitted, whatever it is, it's amazing, that’s a huge feat. Or how much better you’ve gotten at tailoring your resumé and writing cover letters where at the beginning it felt so hard. Maybe there's been a progression in the number of interviews you've gotten.
I promise you, there’s context and metrics there to show no matter your goal, you have grown, you have learned, you have improved, you feel better, there has been positive benefits. There’s so much you have to be proud of, to give yourself credit for, you just have to internally go gather that data. There are also areas you have made huge progress in that are not or were not official ‘goals’.
So for example, I don't set reading goals. I struggled with reading my whole life, some of you know this. I’ve talked about it before. I used to feel so much shame about my reading skills and ability. And I really worked to let that go. And this year I have been preparing and if you’re on my email list, you’ve either already gotten it or you will get it, an email from my email list about the books I’ve read and my thoughts on them.
I really wanted to just be like, “Okay, here are my honest thoughts about these books. If you have them on your shelf or if you’ve been thinking about getting them or if this is something that would help you.” Then you know if it’s a book worth reading or at least my thoughts on it. Obviously it’s just my opinion. But anyways, it turns out I have read nearly a book a month in these six months, actually more. And I was shocked, shocked when I saw that because I would have never guessed that.
If I would just listen to my brain, it tells me I don’t read enough constantly, all year. That’s always telling me that, that I should be reading, that I’d be more successful if I read more, that other people read more books. I'm not exaggerating, my brain is always saying this to me. And that used to give me a lot of shame. And I’ve been able to let that go and just ignore those thoughts. And I just let myself read when I want to. Sometimes it's 10 minutes a week, sometimes I don’t read for three weeks on end. I just don't track it. It doesn't work for me.
But now looking at this data, wow, I’ve read so much. And without pulling that data I wouldn’t have given myself any credit. I wouldn’t have seen that cumulative effect. Not only that, I just feel better, I feel better about the way I go about reading and I have less shame. That is something to be proud of. It’s not to say I’m going to set a reading goal because I probably never will. Because for me with my learning differences and the way I’ve felt shame and been shamed my whole life about it, setting a formal goal in this category of kind of topic area in my life, it doesn't really work for me.
Just letting myself do it the way I’d want to without trying to achieve some end goal works best for me. But there’s other areas like my business or like working out where I have set a formal goal. So your first task after listening to this episode, well, your first task is really to enter the podcast giveaway. There’s no reason not to enter it. But your second task is to go gather data to be proud of yourself. In these past six months what have you done? Where have you grown emotionally? How have you changed? What progress have you made?
Where have you shown up? Where have you given your all? Where have you been graceful with yourself? Where have you built your capacity? There's so much context out there your brain’s ignoring that you can pull and see, wow, I’ve done a lot this year. I’ve so much to be proud of. Once you do that, and it’s really important you start from that place because if you don't you'll go into the next six months carrying that shame, carrying that doubt.
But if you do this work of pulling the data, pulling the context, seeing other metrics, and seeing wow, I did a lot, I feel proud, I’m awesome. Then you can go into the next six months with that momentum, with feeling good, excited, having belief in yourself. And if you’re like me, your brain thinks this time of year is pointless to set a new goal or keep working towards goals. Your brain might think it’s practically over, that new year magic has gone. Or maybe there’s just so much happening, we’re traveling so much. I don’t have time, work’s so busy, all of those things.
Those thoughts aren’t true. You don’t have to listen to them. There are six whole months left, that's nearly 180 days, over 4,000 hours, somewhere between 25 to 26 weeks. Let me put this in context, that’s more than a semester in grad school. Depending on the school you went to, semesters were usually about 15 weeks or so. You have 25 to 26 weeks left of the year. That’s way more than a semester in grad school but remember how much you got done in a semester back in grad school. You have more time than that.
You have more time than how long it is recommended to train for a marathon, a marathon that’s 26 miles. Marathon training, from what I’ve gathered, I’m not a marathon runner but what I've seen is 16 to 20 weeks about. And actually some people do it way less. I just saw a blog of someone who trained I think in 12 weeks. You have more time than it takes to train for a marathon left in the year to work towards whatever you want to work towards. That’s a lot of fucking time. There is plenty of time left to work towards the goal you set in January, make progress on it, to set and work towards a new goal.
I’m not sure who this quote originally should be attributed to. I know a lot of people have referenced it and people think different people were the first to say it. So I’m not going to quote anyone but recognize that’s not my quote. But it really resonates with me and it resonates here. Humans greatly overestimate what we can do in a day. That means in one day you make your to-do list twice as long as you really have time and capacity for.
But we greatly underestimate what we can do in a year or what we can do in six months. Meaning when you think about the next six months, your brain is low balling what you can achieve. It’s underestimating. You need to amp that up. And here is the scarcity mindset. Your brain wants to go into a scarcity mindset, believing there’s not enough time so what’s the point, believing you’re too busy so you shouldn’t try. There is plenty of time. There is an abundance of time.
Yes, no matter the circumstance, even if your kids are out for summer or work has a huge new grant that’s being implemented or you have five weddings to attend this fall. You can plan for those circumstances. You can create a goal and work towards it in a way that recognizes and makes space for those circumstances, because there will always be things happening in your life. That is life. There has been things happening in the past six months. There’s going to be things the next six months.
And year after year after year, that’s never going to change. So waiting or putting off working towards something you want, you’re going to be waiting forever because life will always be happening. There will always be things. So when the summer rolls around, what do you want to be able to look back and be proud of? Joining one meetup to try to meet new friends or not trying at all. Going to a dance class just to see what it’s like or avoiding doing something new. Trying to bake a few recipes even if they don’t go perfectly or telling yourself learning how to bake is a waste of time.
Learning new tools to get your work done faster or more efficiently or more effectively or still being overwhelmed by your to-do list. Whatever it is, whatever you want to change, whatever you want to achieve, wherever you want to grow, whatever you want to try, you can do it. You have the ability. You have six months. I believe in you.
Here is what I want you to start believing about the rest of the year. I have plenty of time. I can do so much in six months. I can grow so much in six months. By next year I can achieve my goal. I have so much time to work on my goal. The year isn’t over yet. I have half a year left to create change. Anything is possible. I can make it happen. And maybe my favorite, which I borrowed from a coach I used to have, leave room for magic. So what are you going to aim for these next six months? What do you want to work towards?
What do you want to achieve? What do you want to make happen? What do you want to be different? What do you want to change? I want to give you some things that will help you do that and keep the momentum and the belief even when your negativity bias ramps up or your scarcity mindset buries its head.
First, I’ve some other goal related podcast episodes that can be really helpful. So they’re episode 90, which is 10 minute goals. It makes setting goals and achieving them so easy. Episode 91, consistency is overrated. So if you really struggle with believing you’re not consistent enough to achieve your goal, that’s for you. And episode 96, there's nothing wrong with procrastination.
Second, I have a course starting in August. And it’s focused on time and productivity. It's going to include lessons on reducing overwhelm, staying motivated, creating time as well as one-on-one coaching with me for a much reduced rate than my one-on-one three month coaching program.
So no matter what your goals for the rest of the year, creating more time will be so helpful to making it happen, knowing what to do when you feel overwhelm, when your brain says you’re too busy or you just don’t feel like working on your goal. And staying committed and motivated will be so helpful. And this is me too. My brain never wants to go work out. And I have a workout goal. I’m going to teach you everything I know about creating more time, reducing whatever you have going on in your life and your workload to whatever else is going on.
Dealing with overwhelm, staying motivated and committed, I’m going to teach you all of it. So that class is coming out. I haven't released the details yet but hit that subscribe button if you're not yet subscribed because the announcement will be coming on the podcast of all the details, when it's happening, how much it is, how you can register. Subscribe here so you don't miss it. And you also want to subscribe because the winners of the podcast giveaway will be announced right here on the podcast. We’re going to announce the winners for the podcast giveaway Monday, July 24th.
So listen, the giveaway is open now. It closes July 14th. I really want you to enter. There is no good reason not to enter. And listen, this is not about you deserving rest. If you've been around for a while you know I hate that phrasing. We are humans, we all have a right to rest. This is about you taking rest, you choosing rest, you entering the giveaway is you practicing how to choose rest, how to give yourself rest.
And me doing the giveaway just makes it so easy for you and so much fun, to pamper yourself or to get books to help you work on your rest mindset or get a sweatshirt that reminds you, you are fucking worthy no matter how much you do or don’t get done. It takes less than three minutes to enter. I want you after this episode, look in the show notes, click the giveaway link, follow the instructions. Put your hat in the ring. Show yourself that I'm taking rest seriously. I'm putting myself first. I’m prioritizing myself.
This is a great way to do it. I am making it super easy and giving you amazing fun prizes. Last day is July 14th. We’re announcing on July 24th right here on the podcast so hit subscribe, go enter. And I’ll talk to you all next week. Bye everyone.
If you found this episode helpful then you have to check out my coaching program where I provide you individualized support to create a life centered around rest. Head on over to mckoolcoaching.com, that’s M-C-K-O-O-L coaching.com to learn more.
Hi, everyone. How are you? What are you up to? Are you listening to this the day it comes out, July 3rd or after the July 4th holiday? Were you camping? Were you on a trip? What has been going on with you? I just got back from working out. I normally don't work out in the morning. I’m normally an after work kind of gal, I like to get it all out and separate my work and my evening. But I did it this morning because I'm leaving this afternoon to go out of town.
So I’m recording this podcast for you all and then I have two coaching calls with my one-on-one clients. And then I'm taking the rest of the week off, which I'm really looking forward to. If you are new here, if you’re a newer listener, welcome, I am so, so glad you're here. Welcome to our community. The whole goal of this podcast is to help you week after week reduce your stress, get more rest, have more time for you and achieve your goals. And this episode is going to be related to the goal aspect of that mission, of that aim.
But first, maybe you haven't heard, we’re doing a podcast giveaway as we speak. Now, you can win a 300 spa gift card. This is a local gift card near where you live. If you are selected as a winner for this prize I will reach out and we’ll figure out the spa to get you a gift card to. For most people that will get you well over an hour massage or a facial or several pedicures. That’s a lot of money to treat yourself, to pamper yourself.
There's also another prize for getting the books on burnout and rest, two of my favorite which I gift my clients all the time. One is Burnout by Amelia and Emily Nagoski. And the other is a recent release by Trisha Hersey, Rest is Resistance, which I could not put down. It aligns so much with the philosophy of this podcast, with what I teach. So I promise you, you will get so much out of that book.
Both of those books really talk about burnout and rest in the context of a society that is based on the patriarchy and white supremacy and hustle culture which I think is really important in the discussion of reducing stress, getting more rest and achieving goals that's missing in so many spaces.
And then our final prize is a worthy sweatshirt from Health Equity Jazz, Jasmine Leonard. If you don't follow Jasmine, go check her out on Instagram, Health Equity Jazz. She has an amazing sweatshirt that on the front says Worthy. And it’s a reminder you are worthy no matter how much you do. So here's the deal. There is a link in the show notes. After this episode I want you to look in the show notes and I’ll remind you at the very end but click that giveaway link. Now, I’m going to go through very, very briefly and then we’ll get into the episode, don’t you worry, the instructions.
Because I want to make sure that you are able to do this seamlessly and easily so you can get these prizes. It might sound complicated as I’m sharing it but it is absolutely not. And when you click the link there is also a video instruction to help you. So when you click the giveaway link, what will happen is you’ll be redirected to a webpage. It will have the details on the giveaway and then you’ll enter your name and email. And then when you enter that, a popup will come up and it will prompt you to rate and review this podcast on Apple Podcasts.
And you want to click the hyperlink that pops up, that redirects you directly to where you can review on Apple Podcasts. In order to qualify for the giveaway you do have to rate and review the podcast, but don’t worry, it’s very, very easy and there’s a video to show you if you’ve never reviewed a podcast. If you're having any issues I have a video that I recorded for you. It’s three minutes. But you’ll get redirected to Apple, then you’ll scroll down and under the reviews, you’ll click, Write a Review.
And then you’ll rate and write your review and you’ll write in a title for it. Remember your title because you will go back, once you hit the send to send your review, you’ll go back to your web browser where the UpViral kind of giveaway campaign is. And the second step, which you’ll be prompted to do is put in your review title. This ensures you get additional points. Basically the way the giveaway works is the top three people with the most points get the prizes.
So once you have done that, you’ve entered your name and email, you reviewed and rated the podcast on Apple and you submitted the title of your review, you’ll get base points but then you can get even more points. Stay on that UpViral page, you scroll down and you'll see a bunch of links to share the giveaway on LinkedIn, on Instagram, on Facebook, on Twitter. And for each share you get a certain amount of bonus points. And you want to do the share from that UpViral confirmation page because it will track it for you. It makes it super easy.
And I know as I walk through this it might sound complicated but it’s not. It’s so, so easy. As I said, I recorded a video showing you how to do it and took three minutes. it will take you even less because for me I was explaining it, so that’s why it even took three minutes, it would take way less than that. So it’s really, really easy. The top three entries with the most points get these amazing, amazing prizes. So I’ll remind you at the end, don't worry, but let’s jump into the episode.
So I didn't know what to call this podcast but I’ve been thinking a lot about, at the new year, so many of us feel motivated for change, whether you set formal goals or not. And if you've been a listener for a while you know at the beginning of this year I put out a couple of episodes related to setting goals. And I think a lot of us we have this excitement, this hope, this inspiration for the new year of what we want to be different. We have this belief it's possible.
And then if you’re anything like me, it comes to summertime and it’s kind of a trick because my brain almost thinks, well, the year is basically over. And my brain always thinks about all the things I didn't do, what I didn't do enough of, what I didn’t keep up with, where I wasn't consistent. And the idea of checking in on where I’m at and continuing to motivate myself or even create new goals moving forward feels daunting. So if you’re like me, this episode is going to help you with that.
And you do not have to feel daunted by using the last six months of the year to help you achieve whatever formal or informal goals you have, help you grow, help you change. And it really starts with changing the way we’re thinking about the past six months. So here are some reasons why you might be feeling a little shitty about your goals this time of year, whether or not you set formal goals in January. Some of you didn't but maybe you had an internal idea of what you wanted to change this year.
Maybe you didn't set a formal goal in January but somewhere in the past six months you did set a formal goal. For me about two months ago I set a workout and weight loss goal. I didn’t set that in January but I set it about two months ago. And some of you did set more formal goals at the beginning of the year, which I did too. And I’ll share an example a little later on. Or for some of you, maybe right now you do have something in mind, something’s come up for the rest of the year, an idea you have or an area you want to grow but you don't think it's possible or worth putting in the effort.
Like I said, at least for me it feels like when summer rolls around, we just feel like the year’s almost over, that there's no point on working on our goal anymore, setting a new one. And I don’t really know why that is. I have some hypotheses. I don’t know if part of it is because for so many of us going through at least the US school system, our year for decades on end was actually September or August to May or June. And so when summer hits it feels like the end of the year.
It’s subconsciously unconsciously we’re so trained even though many of us have been out of school for decades, that summer feels like the year’s over. Or it might be because you’re feeling a little guilt or shame about not getting as far in your goal as you had hoped or kind of stopping working towards it, losing momentum in the spring. Or believing you haven't gotten ‘far enough’. My dog, you probably couldn’t hear that, but she just in her sleep, exasperated. She was like, “That sounds like BS.”
Or maybe you’re in a place where you have a lot of summer trips, maybe you have kids and they’re out of school. And then you’re thinking, well, for holiday season there’s so much that goes on and it just goes really fast. And it seems like the year's over already. And we kind of give up, whether you’re conscious of it or not. And listen, me too, we’re in the same boat here. And I’ve been thinking about this more and more.
And I think there’s a couple of pieces we don't really talk about enough around this time of year around checking in on our goals and really building momentum to continue working on them. And that is negativity bias in our brain and scarcity mindset. And we'll talk about the scarcity piece in a second. But let’s first talk about the negativity bias. Our brain is always looking for what could or has gone wrong. This is a part of our brain’s functioning and it really is a survival mechanism.
Thousands of years ago if you were a hunter and gatherer, or your ancestors who were hunters and gatherers, it's better that the brain remembers which berry is deadly then focus on being proud that you picked a full basket of fruit. So our brains might end up hyper focusing on picking one bad berry because that could mean death and not surviving rather than focusing on being proud of all the other safe berries you picked.
But now in our modern life, especially if you’re listening to this podcast, our brains usually are continuing to operate from this negativity bias, when our personal and professional goals don’t put us in physical threat. We are physically safe, evolutionary survival is probably not a risk based on your personal goals, maybe it is, but for most people I find that’s not the case. I think on top of that, we live in a society that is teaching us always seek perfection. And it teaches us in indirect and indirect subtle ways.
And we end up putting ourselves down and feeling bad for ourselves when we don't achieve something or we don't do it perfectly, which just adds to this negativity bias. So of course you don’t feel proud of what you've achieved or what you've done because you’re told you can’t feel proud if it’s not perfect, if you didn’t ‘do enough’. And lastly, we also are taught that the point of goals is to get to the end of the rainbow, that pot of gold and achieve it. And that’s what makes you worthy and valuable.
Most discussion, intentional or not, direct or indirect is about the achievement of the goal. And we neglect to discuss the journey of it, which in truth when you really think of it is the most important part. That’s where your growth happens. That is where your internal evolution, for example, happens. That is where you build strength and courage and can access pride and get to know yourself and so many other things. But we don't talk about that stuff.
So we think, if we haven't achieved it, if we haven’t gotten to the end of it then we’ve failed. I can’t feel good. We make it mean something about us, our worth, our ability, our capacity. And none of that is true. However, our brain’s think it is and this makes setting and achieving goals feel so hard. And I struggle with this big time, it’s not just you, and so do many of my clients. So today we’re going to talk about how you can shift out of that, how you can feel proud of yourself of what you have done so far this year, whether or not you’ve ‘accomplished your goal’.
And how you can stop shaming yourself for what you haven't done and how you can build momentum and motivation and excitement for what you will achieve in the next six months of the year. To feel excited, to have belief, to want to work towards something in the next six months, whether it’s a new goal or continuing one you set before.
So the first piece is intentionally find and give yourself credit that you deserve. Again, we have this negativity bias that our brain will always look for the ‘negative’. You have to intentionally redirect your brain to find the positive, to find the credit you deserve, to find the ways you have shown up and create that pride for yourself. Because right now when your brain’s operating from that negativity bias, it’s not telling you the whole story.
It's like as if someone went to a conference for example, and only presented half of the data from their analysis. That’s not the whole story. That doesn't tell a whole picture, it skews it. You have to go collect the other evidence. Whether you set a formal goal this year or not, you have achieved so much, you’re not realizing or recognizing.
Here is an example from my life. The beginning of the year I set a formal goal, a revenue goal for my business. As of now halfway point of year, I am only about a quarter of the way there. If you were to do the math, halfway through the year, the goal is to be halfway to my revenue goal. I’m not, I’m less than that. And my brain wants to look at that and see it as a failure and give up on achieving my goal the rest of the year. It keeps telling me it's not possible, how could that be, I can’t make up that much gain. I’m so far behind.
And you know what I decided to do? I decided to sit down and look at all my progress, what I have done, all the changes in my business for the past six months, not just total revenue. And it was a treasure trove of information that my brain was leaving out. So here’s what I found out. Even though I have not near made as close to the amount of money I would like to have made by midpoint in order to meet my annual goal. Consistently every single month the number of new visitors, meaning new folks coming to my website has increased.
And in fact I had the biggest month of new visitors to my website ever in the history of my business. In these six months I have had more people sign up and take my free course, How to Delegate to Reduce Your Workload in six months than I had taking my free course from 2022 in all of last year. And all of my social media metrics from followers, shares, all that stuff has increased exponentially, not only that.
When I looked deeper into the actual financial numbers, even though I’m only a quarter of the way to my financial goal this year, when really mathematically it ‘should be half’. Looking at this year compared to last year, I have made double at the same point this year than I had last year at the same time. And most importantly, not only did, have I made double in the same amount of time. This year I feel so much more emotionally centered and calm and confident in my business than ever, ever before.
And in all my marketing and all my social media, I feel so much more connected to all of you. And being able to build that rapport and build that relationship and build this community all while this year taking a whole month off in April, which I’ve never done before. Listen, all that context matters. It’s like if I came to a conference and I was presenting on one metric that seemed to be negative and my coworker was like, “Hey, wait, here is this huge stack of papers that shows all the other metrics that have gone up, that have changed, that have improved.”
Those of you who have done evaluation, all of the metrics matter, they all contribute to the story, not just one. Right now all of you, your brain’s overlooking the whole context. Your brain’s picking out the metrics that just show you haven't done enough, you should give up. When there's so many other metrics you're not looking at and you’re overlooking. And you have to intentionally go find it. That’s what I had to do too, it takes work but it's so, so worth it.
Intentionally find the evidence that you have made progress, that you have created success, that you have grown, that there are things to be proud of. I promise, promise, promise you, it is there. Also it doesn't take that long to do. So if your brain’s like, “Oh, that will take forever.” Your brain’s a liar, my brain said that too. It took me an hour maybe. And that was me digging up business data. Your evidence you might be seeking might be so much easier and quicker to get.
So maybe you made a weight loss goal and your brain is so focused on the number on the scale, what else could you look at? Maybe you can review your Apple watch stats across months of how many days you worked out or hit your standing goal or hit your exercise goal. Or maybe can pull up your calendar or your workout class schedule or app and see how many times you went to a workout class. Maybe you can check in with yourself of how you feel emotionally with increasing your movement or workouts, how your mental health has improved, how you’ve made friends.
Maybe your goal has been to get a new job and your brain is focused on I don't have a new job yet. Instead of focusing on that, where else could you find context and evidence and metrics? Maybe review the total number of applications you’ve submitted, whatever it is, it's amazing, that’s a huge feat. Or how much better you’ve gotten at tailoring your resumé and writing cover letters where at the beginning it felt so hard. Maybe there's been a progression in the number of interviews you've gotten.
I promise you, there’s context and metrics there to show no matter your goal, you have grown, you have learned, you have improved, you feel better, there has been positive benefits. There’s so much you have to be proud of, to give yourself credit for, you just have to internally go gather that data. There are also areas you have made huge progress in that are not or were not official ‘goals’.
So for example, I don't set reading goals. I struggled with reading my whole life, some of you know this. I’ve talked about it before. I used to feel so much shame about my reading skills and ability. And I really worked to let that go. And this year I have been preparing and if you’re on my email list, you’ve either already gotten it or you will get it, an email from my email list about the books I’ve read and my thoughts on them.
I really wanted to just be like, “Okay, here are my honest thoughts about these books. If you have them on your shelf or if you’ve been thinking about getting them or if this is something that would help you.” Then you know if it’s a book worth reading or at least my thoughts on it. Obviously it’s just my opinion. But anyways, it turns out I have read nearly a book a month in these six months, actually more. And I was shocked, shocked when I saw that because I would have never guessed that.
If I would just listen to my brain, it tells me I don’t read enough constantly, all year. That’s always telling me that, that I should be reading, that I’d be more successful if I read more, that other people read more books. I'm not exaggerating, my brain is always saying this to me. And that used to give me a lot of shame. And I’ve been able to let that go and just ignore those thoughts. And I just let myself read when I want to. Sometimes it's 10 minutes a week, sometimes I don’t read for three weeks on end. I just don't track it. It doesn't work for me.
But now looking at this data, wow, I’ve read so much. And without pulling that data I wouldn’t have given myself any credit. I wouldn’t have seen that cumulative effect. Not only that, I just feel better, I feel better about the way I go about reading and I have less shame. That is something to be proud of. It’s not to say I’m going to set a reading goal because I probably never will. Because for me with my learning differences and the way I’ve felt shame and been shamed my whole life about it, setting a formal goal in this category of kind of topic area in my life, it doesn't really work for me.
Just letting myself do it the way I’d want to without trying to achieve some end goal works best for me. But there’s other areas like my business or like working out where I have set a formal goal. So your first task after listening to this episode, well, your first task is really to enter the podcast giveaway. There’s no reason not to enter it. But your second task is to go gather data to be proud of yourself. In these past six months what have you done? Where have you grown emotionally? How have you changed? What progress have you made?
Where have you shown up? Where have you given your all? Where have you been graceful with yourself? Where have you built your capacity? There's so much context out there your brain’s ignoring that you can pull and see, wow, I’ve done a lot this year. I’ve so much to be proud of. Once you do that, and it’s really important you start from that place because if you don't you'll go into the next six months carrying that shame, carrying that doubt.
But if you do this work of pulling the data, pulling the context, seeing other metrics, and seeing wow, I did a lot, I feel proud, I’m awesome. Then you can go into the next six months with that momentum, with feeling good, excited, having belief in yourself. And if you’re like me, your brain thinks this time of year is pointless to set a new goal or keep working towards goals. Your brain might think it’s practically over, that new year magic has gone. Or maybe there’s just so much happening, we’re traveling so much. I don’t have time, work’s so busy, all of those things.
Those thoughts aren’t true. You don’t have to listen to them. There are six whole months left, that's nearly 180 days, over 4,000 hours, somewhere between 25 to 26 weeks. Let me put this in context, that’s more than a semester in grad school. Depending on the school you went to, semesters were usually about 15 weeks or so. You have 25 to 26 weeks left of the year. That’s way more than a semester in grad school but remember how much you got done in a semester back in grad school. You have more time than that.
You have more time than how long it is recommended to train for a marathon, a marathon that’s 26 miles. Marathon training, from what I’ve gathered, I’m not a marathon runner but what I've seen is 16 to 20 weeks about. And actually some people do it way less. I just saw a blog of someone who trained I think in 12 weeks. You have more time than it takes to train for a marathon left in the year to work towards whatever you want to work towards. That’s a lot of fucking time. There is plenty of time left to work towards the goal you set in January, make progress on it, to set and work towards a new goal.
I’m not sure who this quote originally should be attributed to. I know a lot of people have referenced it and people think different people were the first to say it. So I’m not going to quote anyone but recognize that’s not my quote. But it really resonates with me and it resonates here. Humans greatly overestimate what we can do in a day. That means in one day you make your to-do list twice as long as you really have time and capacity for.
But we greatly underestimate what we can do in a year or what we can do in six months. Meaning when you think about the next six months, your brain is low balling what you can achieve. It’s underestimating. You need to amp that up. And here is the scarcity mindset. Your brain wants to go into a scarcity mindset, believing there’s not enough time so what’s the point, believing you’re too busy so you shouldn’t try. There is plenty of time. There is an abundance of time.
Yes, no matter the circumstance, even if your kids are out for summer or work has a huge new grant that’s being implemented or you have five weddings to attend this fall. You can plan for those circumstances. You can create a goal and work towards it in a way that recognizes and makes space for those circumstances, because there will always be things happening in your life. That is life. There has been things happening in the past six months. There’s going to be things the next six months.
And year after year after year, that’s never going to change. So waiting or putting off working towards something you want, you’re going to be waiting forever because life will always be happening. There will always be things. So when the summer rolls around, what do you want to be able to look back and be proud of? Joining one meetup to try to meet new friends or not trying at all. Going to a dance class just to see what it’s like or avoiding doing something new. Trying to bake a few recipes even if they don’t go perfectly or telling yourself learning how to bake is a waste of time.
Learning new tools to get your work done faster or more efficiently or more effectively or still being overwhelmed by your to-do list. Whatever it is, whatever you want to change, whatever you want to achieve, wherever you want to grow, whatever you want to try, you can do it. You have the ability. You have six months. I believe in you.
Here is what I want you to start believing about the rest of the year. I have plenty of time. I can do so much in six months. I can grow so much in six months. By next year I can achieve my goal. I have so much time to work on my goal. The year isn’t over yet. I have half a year left to create change. Anything is possible. I can make it happen. And maybe my favorite, which I borrowed from a coach I used to have, leave room for magic. So what are you going to aim for these next six months? What do you want to work towards?
What do you want to achieve? What do you want to make happen? What do you want to be different? What do you want to change? I want to give you some things that will help you do that and keep the momentum and the belief even when your negativity bias ramps up or your scarcity mindset buries its head.
First, I’ve some other goal related podcast episodes that can be really helpful. So they’re episode 90, which is 10 minute goals. It makes setting goals and achieving them so easy. Episode 91, consistency is overrated. So if you really struggle with believing you’re not consistent enough to achieve your goal, that’s for you. And episode 96, there's nothing wrong with procrastination.
Second, I have a course starting in August. And it’s focused on time and productivity. It's going to include lessons on reducing overwhelm, staying motivated, creating time as well as one-on-one coaching with me for a much reduced rate than my one-on-one three month coaching program.
So no matter what your goals for the rest of the year, creating more time will be so helpful to making it happen, knowing what to do when you feel overwhelm, when your brain says you’re too busy or you just don’t feel like working on your goal. And staying committed and motivated will be so helpful. And this is me too. My brain never wants to go work out. And I have a workout goal. I’m going to teach you everything I know about creating more time, reducing whatever you have going on in your life and your workload to whatever else is going on.
Dealing with overwhelm, staying motivated and committed, I’m going to teach you all of it. So that class is coming out. I haven't released the details yet but hit that subscribe button if you're not yet subscribed because the announcement will be coming on the podcast of all the details, when it's happening, how much it is, how you can register. Subscribe here so you don't miss it. And you also want to subscribe because the winners of the podcast giveaway will be announced right here on the podcast. We’re going to announce the winners for the podcast giveaway Monday, July 24th.
So listen, the giveaway is open now. It closes July 14th. I really want you to enter. There is no good reason not to enter. And listen, this is not about you deserving rest. If you've been around for a while you know I hate that phrasing. We are humans, we all have a right to rest. This is about you taking rest, you choosing rest, you entering the giveaway is you practicing how to choose rest, how to give yourself rest.
And me doing the giveaway just makes it so easy for you and so much fun, to pamper yourself or to get books to help you work on your rest mindset or get a sweatshirt that reminds you, you are fucking worthy no matter how much you do or don’t get done. It takes less than three minutes to enter. I want you after this episode, look in the show notes, click the giveaway link, follow the instructions. Put your hat in the ring. Show yourself that I'm taking rest seriously. I'm putting myself first. I’m prioritizing myself.
This is a great way to do it. I am making it super easy and giving you amazing fun prizes. Last day is July 14th. We’re announcing on July 24th right here on the podcast so hit subscribe, go enter. And I’ll talk to you all next week. Bye everyone.
If you found this episode helpful then you have to check out my coaching program where I provide you individualized support to create a life centered around rest. Head on over to mckoolcoaching.com, that’s M-C-K-O-O-L coaching.com to learn more.
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