59. When You Have a Crazy Week
We have all had those weeks that just feel overwhelming. Maybe you have so many meetings that you can’t keep up with your workload, just as your in-laws are coming to visit. Maybe you have a huge project where the crunch time coincides with your child’s graduation. Whatever it is, it feels like madness when everything is happening at once, and it can leave us feeling exhausted, overwhelmed, and like we can’t wait for it to be over.
How you show up for yourself during a tough, busy week is the ultimate insight into your relationship with yourself. The way you treat yourself, talk to yourself, and support yourself are all an indication of where you are on your priority list. So what are those insights telling you? Do you need to find a more productive way to deal with these crazy weeks? If so, don’t worry, I’ve got you.
In this week’s episode, I’m showing you how to cope during those weeks that leave you feeling exhausted and drained and how to make them feel a little more bearable. I’m sharing what I’ve learned from myself and how I’ve shown up in crazy busy weeks, and how to stop beating yourself up for not doing your best work during these times, and start having your own back always.
If you want to take this work deeper and learn the tools and skills to feel better, all while having my support and guidance each step of the way, I invite you to set up a time to chat with me. Click here to grab a spot on my calendar and I can’t wait to speak to you!
The Burnout Recovery course is out and available right now! Join this three-part mini-course to get concrete tools and skills to help you reduce pandemic stress, deal with difficult bosses, and reduce your workload.
What You Will Discover:
Two areas that you can make things harder for yourself when you have a lot going on.
Why you need to stop beating yourself up and shaming yourself for not getting things done perfectly during busy periods.
How your thoughts could be reducing your creativity and ability to problem-solve.
Some things to actively remind yourself when things are just hectic.
How to go into a busy week not accepting perfection.
Why you always have the power to change your thoughts.
The reason you find those weeks so difficult, how you can change it.
Resources:
Get The Burnout Recovery Resolution mini-course right now by signing up here!
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Questions? Comments? I'd love to hear from you! Email me at info@mckoolcoaching.com
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BONUS: Why Coaching Is the Answer for Public Health Professionals
Full Episode Transcript:
Hey you all, I’m Marissa McKool, and you’re listening to the Redefining Rest Podcast for public health professionals. Here we believe rest is your right. You don’t have to earn it, you just have to learn how to take it and I’m going to teach you. Ready? Come along.
Well, hello everyone, how’s it going? I’m feeling relaxed as you’re hearing this because I would have just come back from my weeklong vacation. But today I’m going to talk about the couple weeks of insanity leading up to it. And I’m really hoping, and this is going to be a short and sweet podcast episode both for you all but also because my partner is out walking Cudi, our dog and I know he’ll be home soon, so I don’t want that interruption.
But I’ve also noticed, some of you might have as well, any time I say that at the beginning of an episode I jinx myself and it turns out to be longer than I anticipated. So, we’ll see how this goes. But a couple of weeks before going on my trip, not just the vacation but we had other travel going on. I had to head to Wyoming for my grandmother’s memorial. She passed away last year but because of COVID we had to delay the memorial. We went to my partner’s family’s place in LA for his mom’s retirement party.
He was out for work for a week which meant I had all the home responsibilities and with our dog. I have been a guest on a lot of folk’s podcasts recently, so recording those. There’s just been a number of things happening. And we have all been here where there’s a week or two that it semes like everything’s colliding a little bit. Maybe you have a huge work project where it’s crunch time and that coincides with your child’s graduation. Or your vacation and time off comes right after the completion of several deliverables that just happen to fall around the same time.
Maybe you have a week where there are just so many meetings and not only are you trying to find how to get your work done but juggling your in-laws coming to visit. Whatever it is, you all know, you’ve been there where there’s just a week or two where it feels like madness, it feels like everything’s happening at once. And ahead of time you look at your calendar and you see it and you feel dread. And then during the week you’re feeling exhausted, and you just think about how you can’t wait for it to be over.
So, the goal of today’s podcast, I want you to be able to come back to this. And listen, whenever you are about to have a packed week, or you’re in the midst of it and you’re struggling, there are two areas where you can make things harder for yourself when you have a lot going on. The first is how you think about that week before it even happens ahead of time. And the second is what you think while you’re in the midst of that hectic week. And the problem and the solution for both of those are actually the same. Can anyone guess what it has to do with? Your thoughts of course.
If you’ve been around for a while, that’s what every episode has to do with. But what you think makes a week filled with a lot of tasks, or other people, or timelines, or whatever else, difficult. What you think that makes a week difficult are those tasks, are those people, are those timelines. No, that’s not what makes it hard. It’s your thinking. Maybe you keep thinking this is going to be so hard, I don’t want to do this, I’m so tired, I’m so busy, I can’t wait for this to be over. And that’s totally normal. I have those thoughts too. I still have those thoughts.
But I want you to realize and remind yourself that those thoughts, that is what is creating the anxiety, dread and overwhelmed. You think your brain’s just relaying the truth of the circumstance, that your in-laws are causing you stress, that your deliverables are making you overwhelmed, that everything happening in the same week is making you exhausted. You think your brain’s just reporting the news but that’s not true, they’re just optional thoughts, optional ways to tell the story of your experience.
When you think those thoughts it reduces your creativity and problem solving for how to plan for the busy week, or how to solve challenges that might come up. It increases how much you get distracted or choose to get distracted by looking in social media, or complaining to others, or heading to the fridge. That may or may not be something I do a lot. It can lead to catastrophize the week. Imagine worst case scenario, and if the caterer doesn’t come and if you get a mistake on the grant deliverable, and if the flight is delayed or whatever it may be.
Sometimes it leads you to blame others. Well, this week wouldn’t be so bad if my colleague just did their part on the project, or if my partner would just help out at home more. It leads you to actually not ask for help and not say no. And then as a result you make your activity filled week 10 times harder. There is no benefit to going through a filled week, a week with a lot going on with those thoughts, none, zero, zilp. Doesn’t lead you to have less to do, doesn’t drive you to create more time. It doesn’t help you be present and enjoy it.
You can narrate the week ahead of time and during it with a different mental script. And this isn’t about lying, it’s about telling the story of your experience in a more helpful way. So instead of saying, “This is going to be so hard, I don’t want to do this. I’m too busy,” all of that. You can acknowledge that there is a lot going on but without bringing yourself down into dread, anxiety and overwhelm. By instead believing this won’t last forever, it’s okay if I don’t get all this done. I know what I need to do. I can do this. I can get through this.
I’m going to do the best I can, I’ve got this, it’s okay if it’s not perfect. When you spend your time in that mindset, thinking that way you actually create some determination, some empowerment, some relief, some confidence, some comfort. And then those feelings drive more useful actions where you think creatively and strategically. You don’t get stuck in dread.
You focus on how to get things done with the parameters you have and what you need in order to do that. You make quicker decisions. You say no if you need to. You ask for help. You give yourself permission not to be perfect. You move things around on your calendar. All of that results in improving your experience, increasing the likelihood you will get it all done, feeling better while you go through it and making it through that week with less stress. And probably sleeping better, and actually eating and not skipping meals and anything else you feel like you need or want.
Here are some really important reminders that you need to remind yourself during weeks where things are just hectic. And you have to actively remind yourself, you will probably drop a ball or forget something. You might not get it all done. You might have to decide not to get some things done. You will need to B minus work instead of A plus work. You will likely need to say no. And you might end up disappointing some people. And nothing has gone wrong with any of that. All of that is okay.
Getting through packed and tough weeks is about you and no one else. You are the number one priority. Don’t make it harder on yourself by expecting perfection then beating yourself up by saying unhelpful thoughts, shaming and blaming yourself and then avoiding all of your emotions and getting even further behind. When you go into a busy week not expecting perfection, accepting B minus work knowing that some people will be upset and just letting them have their feelings and knowing you’ll probably forget something but that’s okay, the world’s not ending.
Then when all of that shit happens it’s all good, you’re not shocked, you’re not beating yourself up. You’re like, yeah, I knew that was going to happen. And you don’t have to be mean to yourself. And you can also remember literally it’s not the end of the world. Your brain thinks it is, our brains are real dramatic but it’s not. And when you expect all of that stuff to happen then when it does it’s like, yeah, no big deal. And guess what, if it doesn’t, that’s just a bonus.
How you show up for yourself during a very tough or busy week is the ultimate insight into your relationship with yourself, how you treat yourself, how you talk to yourself, how you support yourself, where you put yourself on the priority list, how much you believe in yourself. And when you take that information you’re learning, I want you to look at it and notice, what is it telling you? Are the insights you’re gathering from how you show up for yourself, how you talk to yourself during busy weeks, are they showing you that you don’t have your own back, that you aren’t treating yourself well?
And if yes, then you can change that. Decide to talk to yourself differently. Decide to believe in yourself, decide to think thoughts that are empowering and not dead ends. When you do this, when you show up with intention, and compassion and acceptance for you, then you can make changes midweek. You can adjust, you can pivot because you’re not in despair, and self-blame, and judgment. You’re accepting yourself as a full human who’s not perfect. And you can also take lessons from the week and implement in the future.
And by lessons I do not mean beating yourself up as a way to try to make sure next time you don’t mess up and you’re perfect. No, no, no. I mean you reflect and say, “You know what? Next time I can make this decision instead and it will help me in this way.” So let me give a few examples. Here is what I’ve learned from myself from looking at how I showed up the past couple of weeks and in the past when I’ve done this during busy weeks. No, I have learned that help me, and I try to do, I don’t always do it and if I don’t I’m not mean to myself, so I’m not perfection.
But I just have an understanding that these things tend to help me. They might not help you, that’s why you have to look at your own list. But for me if I’m traveling and if I can, coming home with at least a half a day to rest before work starts, so coming home if I’m working on a Monday, Sunday midday is helpful. The best is coming home on Saturday and having all of Sunday. Looking at my calendar a few weeks ahead so I can plan adjustments for busy weeks is so important. Now, am I perfect at it? No.
I actually realized a couple of weeks ago, I totally missed the mark, I looked at my calendar coming up, I saw it was busy, but I didn’t really look at it strategically and make a plan. So next time I’ll just be better about that. It really helps for me to think about when I do make the effort to look at my schedule that way, what do I want to delegate to someone else, like ask my partner, “Hey, can you cook these nights? I have a busy day that day.” Or what do I want to offload from my plate, like ordering grocery delivery?
And the chores that I need to do like the life stuff you still have to do when you have a busy work week or busy travel, I think about how can I do it in a way that makes my week easier? Sometimes for example sending my laundry out to get done. To be real honest most of the time it’s pulling out all my bras, socks and underwear and just doing that load to get through the week instead of doing three hours of laundry and that’s okay.
Moving or canceling meetings, scheduling reminders, blocking time off from my calendar to meal prep on a Sunday so I have easy lunch during the week because I know if I don’t I will probably eat junk. I won’t have time to make a meal. So that’s my list, what’s yours? It’s so helpful to take just five to 10 minutes to think about this and prep for a busy week or reflecting after a busy week. All of these actions can only occur and be effective if you are thinking intentionally in ways that help you and not slow you down by being mean to yourself.
You cannot have mental and emotional space to even think of a list like this, let alone implement them if you’re too busy being dramatic in your mind, swimming in dread, avoiding your anxiety and most of all being an asshole to yourself. Remember, everything, it always starts with how you’re thinking and especially when you have a busy week. What you’re thinking not only directs what actions you take and if those actions are helpful, but the emotional experience you have while taking those actions.
Don’t let your taller brain come out in full force on busy weeks, or if it does, don’t get into it, just remind your brain, “Hey, listen brain, I hear you, I got you, I hear you, noted. Noted, put in the complaint pile but we’re doing it this way. I’ll review your complaint later but we’re going to do it this way.” Sometimes you have to parent your brain, okay, you all. And listen, I know we have a lot of new listeners here. I just want to share a few things.
These podcasts are intended to help you be able to manage your mind, feel better without any other support and they absolutely can. As well as if you find this helpful and are someone who would really like more intensive support, more one-on-one support, more detailed support, or there’s just an area you’re really struggling, like you made some progress on your own, but you don’t know where the roadblocks are you and you really want to transform a little more or feel better, that’s where one-on-one coaching comes in.
So, I have a whole bonus episode to explain how one-on-one coaching is really helpful, particularly for folks in public health, I will leave a link, you can check out. But I encourage you to think about it. I have a few spots left, you can email me, sign up for a consultation via the link, message me on LinkedIn or Instagram. We can always just have a conversation about it, you don’t have to commit. But if you’re finding the podcast helpful, it’s a really good sign that actually coaching could be super transformational for you. So just consider it, just think about it.
And in the meantime, don’t forget to rate and review the podcast because we want to get this to everyone in public health because we all have crazy weeks. So, let’s get this to everyone in public health. One way you can do that, rate, and review wherever you listen, send it to a colleague who you know struggles with this who is just talking about how busy their week was. Share it broadly so everyone in public health can get the support. Alright, I’m heading out, I’ll talk to you all next week. I hope you have a great week, bye everyone.
If you found this episode helpful then you have to check out my coaching program where I provide you individualized support to create a life centered around rest. Head on over to mckoolcoaching.com, that’s M-C-K-O-O-L coaching.com to learn more.
Well, hello everyone, how’s it going? I’m feeling relaxed as you’re hearing this because I would have just come back from my weeklong vacation. But today I’m going to talk about the couple weeks of insanity leading up to it. And I’m really hoping, and this is going to be a short and sweet podcast episode both for you all but also because my partner is out walking Cudi, our dog and I know he’ll be home soon, so I don’t want that interruption.
But I’ve also noticed, some of you might have as well, any time I say that at the beginning of an episode I jinx myself and it turns out to be longer than I anticipated. So, we’ll see how this goes. But a couple of weeks before going on my trip, not just the vacation but we had other travel going on. I had to head to Wyoming for my grandmother’s memorial. She passed away last year but because of COVID we had to delay the memorial. We went to my partner’s family’s place in LA for his mom’s retirement party.
He was out for work for a week which meant I had all the home responsibilities and with our dog. I have been a guest on a lot of folk’s podcasts recently, so recording those. There’s just been a number of things happening. And we have all been here where there’s a week or two that it semes like everything’s colliding a little bit. Maybe you have a huge work project where it’s crunch time and that coincides with your child’s graduation. Or your vacation and time off comes right after the completion of several deliverables that just happen to fall around the same time.
Maybe you have a week where there are just so many meetings and not only are you trying to find how to get your work done but juggling your in-laws coming to visit. Whatever it is, you all know, you’ve been there where there’s just a week or two where it feels like madness, it feels like everything’s happening at once. And ahead of time you look at your calendar and you see it and you feel dread. And then during the week you’re feeling exhausted, and you just think about how you can’t wait for it to be over.
So, the goal of today’s podcast, I want you to be able to come back to this. And listen, whenever you are about to have a packed week, or you’re in the midst of it and you’re struggling, there are two areas where you can make things harder for yourself when you have a lot going on. The first is how you think about that week before it even happens ahead of time. And the second is what you think while you’re in the midst of that hectic week. And the problem and the solution for both of those are actually the same. Can anyone guess what it has to do with? Your thoughts of course.
If you’ve been around for a while, that’s what every episode has to do with. But what you think makes a week filled with a lot of tasks, or other people, or timelines, or whatever else, difficult. What you think that makes a week difficult are those tasks, are those people, are those timelines. No, that’s not what makes it hard. It’s your thinking. Maybe you keep thinking this is going to be so hard, I don’t want to do this, I’m so tired, I’m so busy, I can’t wait for this to be over. And that’s totally normal. I have those thoughts too. I still have those thoughts.
But I want you to realize and remind yourself that those thoughts, that is what is creating the anxiety, dread and overwhelmed. You think your brain’s just relaying the truth of the circumstance, that your in-laws are causing you stress, that your deliverables are making you overwhelmed, that everything happening in the same week is making you exhausted. You think your brain’s just reporting the news but that’s not true, they’re just optional thoughts, optional ways to tell the story of your experience.
When you think those thoughts it reduces your creativity and problem solving for how to plan for the busy week, or how to solve challenges that might come up. It increases how much you get distracted or choose to get distracted by looking in social media, or complaining to others, or heading to the fridge. That may or may not be something I do a lot. It can lead to catastrophize the week. Imagine worst case scenario, and if the caterer doesn’t come and if you get a mistake on the grant deliverable, and if the flight is delayed or whatever it may be.
Sometimes it leads you to blame others. Well, this week wouldn’t be so bad if my colleague just did their part on the project, or if my partner would just help out at home more. It leads you to actually not ask for help and not say no. And then as a result you make your activity filled week 10 times harder. There is no benefit to going through a filled week, a week with a lot going on with those thoughts, none, zero, zilp. Doesn’t lead you to have less to do, doesn’t drive you to create more time. It doesn’t help you be present and enjoy it.
You can narrate the week ahead of time and during it with a different mental script. And this isn’t about lying, it’s about telling the story of your experience in a more helpful way. So instead of saying, “This is going to be so hard, I don’t want to do this. I’m too busy,” all of that. You can acknowledge that there is a lot going on but without bringing yourself down into dread, anxiety and overwhelm. By instead believing this won’t last forever, it’s okay if I don’t get all this done. I know what I need to do. I can do this. I can get through this.
I’m going to do the best I can, I’ve got this, it’s okay if it’s not perfect. When you spend your time in that mindset, thinking that way you actually create some determination, some empowerment, some relief, some confidence, some comfort. And then those feelings drive more useful actions where you think creatively and strategically. You don’t get stuck in dread.
You focus on how to get things done with the parameters you have and what you need in order to do that. You make quicker decisions. You say no if you need to. You ask for help. You give yourself permission not to be perfect. You move things around on your calendar. All of that results in improving your experience, increasing the likelihood you will get it all done, feeling better while you go through it and making it through that week with less stress. And probably sleeping better, and actually eating and not skipping meals and anything else you feel like you need or want.
Here are some really important reminders that you need to remind yourself during weeks where things are just hectic. And you have to actively remind yourself, you will probably drop a ball or forget something. You might not get it all done. You might have to decide not to get some things done. You will need to B minus work instead of A plus work. You will likely need to say no. And you might end up disappointing some people. And nothing has gone wrong with any of that. All of that is okay.
Getting through packed and tough weeks is about you and no one else. You are the number one priority. Don’t make it harder on yourself by expecting perfection then beating yourself up by saying unhelpful thoughts, shaming and blaming yourself and then avoiding all of your emotions and getting even further behind. When you go into a busy week not expecting perfection, accepting B minus work knowing that some people will be upset and just letting them have their feelings and knowing you’ll probably forget something but that’s okay, the world’s not ending.
Then when all of that shit happens it’s all good, you’re not shocked, you’re not beating yourself up. You’re like, yeah, I knew that was going to happen. And you don’t have to be mean to yourself. And you can also remember literally it’s not the end of the world. Your brain thinks it is, our brains are real dramatic but it’s not. And when you expect all of that stuff to happen then when it does it’s like, yeah, no big deal. And guess what, if it doesn’t, that’s just a bonus.
How you show up for yourself during a very tough or busy week is the ultimate insight into your relationship with yourself, how you treat yourself, how you talk to yourself, how you support yourself, where you put yourself on the priority list, how much you believe in yourself. And when you take that information you’re learning, I want you to look at it and notice, what is it telling you? Are the insights you’re gathering from how you show up for yourself, how you talk to yourself during busy weeks, are they showing you that you don’t have your own back, that you aren’t treating yourself well?
And if yes, then you can change that. Decide to talk to yourself differently. Decide to believe in yourself, decide to think thoughts that are empowering and not dead ends. When you do this, when you show up with intention, and compassion and acceptance for you, then you can make changes midweek. You can adjust, you can pivot because you’re not in despair, and self-blame, and judgment. You’re accepting yourself as a full human who’s not perfect. And you can also take lessons from the week and implement in the future.
And by lessons I do not mean beating yourself up as a way to try to make sure next time you don’t mess up and you’re perfect. No, no, no. I mean you reflect and say, “You know what? Next time I can make this decision instead and it will help me in this way.” So let me give a few examples. Here is what I’ve learned from myself from looking at how I showed up the past couple of weeks and in the past when I’ve done this during busy weeks. No, I have learned that help me, and I try to do, I don’t always do it and if I don’t I’m not mean to myself, so I’m not perfection.
But I just have an understanding that these things tend to help me. They might not help you, that’s why you have to look at your own list. But for me if I’m traveling and if I can, coming home with at least a half a day to rest before work starts, so coming home if I’m working on a Monday, Sunday midday is helpful. The best is coming home on Saturday and having all of Sunday. Looking at my calendar a few weeks ahead so I can plan adjustments for busy weeks is so important. Now, am I perfect at it? No.
I actually realized a couple of weeks ago, I totally missed the mark, I looked at my calendar coming up, I saw it was busy, but I didn’t really look at it strategically and make a plan. So next time I’ll just be better about that. It really helps for me to think about when I do make the effort to look at my schedule that way, what do I want to delegate to someone else, like ask my partner, “Hey, can you cook these nights? I have a busy day that day.” Or what do I want to offload from my plate, like ordering grocery delivery?
And the chores that I need to do like the life stuff you still have to do when you have a busy work week or busy travel, I think about how can I do it in a way that makes my week easier? Sometimes for example sending my laundry out to get done. To be real honest most of the time it’s pulling out all my bras, socks and underwear and just doing that load to get through the week instead of doing three hours of laundry and that’s okay.
Moving or canceling meetings, scheduling reminders, blocking time off from my calendar to meal prep on a Sunday so I have easy lunch during the week because I know if I don’t I will probably eat junk. I won’t have time to make a meal. So that’s my list, what’s yours? It’s so helpful to take just five to 10 minutes to think about this and prep for a busy week or reflecting after a busy week. All of these actions can only occur and be effective if you are thinking intentionally in ways that help you and not slow you down by being mean to yourself.
You cannot have mental and emotional space to even think of a list like this, let alone implement them if you’re too busy being dramatic in your mind, swimming in dread, avoiding your anxiety and most of all being an asshole to yourself. Remember, everything, it always starts with how you’re thinking and especially when you have a busy week. What you’re thinking not only directs what actions you take and if those actions are helpful, but the emotional experience you have while taking those actions.
Don’t let your taller brain come out in full force on busy weeks, or if it does, don’t get into it, just remind your brain, “Hey, listen brain, I hear you, I got you, I hear you, noted. Noted, put in the complaint pile but we’re doing it this way. I’ll review your complaint later but we’re going to do it this way.” Sometimes you have to parent your brain, okay, you all. And listen, I know we have a lot of new listeners here. I just want to share a few things.
These podcasts are intended to help you be able to manage your mind, feel better without any other support and they absolutely can. As well as if you find this helpful and are someone who would really like more intensive support, more one-on-one support, more detailed support, or there’s just an area you’re really struggling, like you made some progress on your own, but you don’t know where the roadblocks are you and you really want to transform a little more or feel better, that’s where one-on-one coaching comes in.
So, I have a whole bonus episode to explain how one-on-one coaching is really helpful, particularly for folks in public health, I will leave a link, you can check out. But I encourage you to think about it. I have a few spots left, you can email me, sign up for a consultation via the link, message me on LinkedIn or Instagram. We can always just have a conversation about it, you don’t have to commit. But if you’re finding the podcast helpful, it’s a really good sign that actually coaching could be super transformational for you. So just consider it, just think about it.
And in the meantime, don’t forget to rate and review the podcast because we want to get this to everyone in public health because we all have crazy weeks. So, let’s get this to everyone in public health. One way you can do that, rate, and review wherever you listen, send it to a colleague who you know struggles with this who is just talking about how busy their week was. Share it broadly so everyone in public health can get the support. Alright, I’m heading out, I’ll talk to you all next week. I hope you have a great week, bye everyone.
If you found this episode helpful then you have to check out my coaching program where I provide you individualized support to create a life centered around rest. Head on over to mckoolcoaching.com, that’s M-C-K-O-O-L coaching.com to learn more.
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