33. Intentional Rest
As a society, we believe rest is a temporary state that we have to earn, something that we only give to ourselves when we’re burnt out, or when we’ve accomplished something worthy. It is also seen as a treatment, rather than prevention. So, it’s time to undo some of these unconscious beliefs we have about rest.
Time for yourself is such an important part of a balanced life, and it’s always available to every single one of us. I believe it is a state we can create consistently for ourselves, but it’s going to require some intention. Sure, planning rest is important too. But you need to be able to listen to your mind and body in any moment, so you can give it to yourself intentionally.
Tune in this week to discover how to make intentional rest a part of your daily life, instead of thinking about it like a reward or remedy. I’m sharing how I practice intentional rest in my life, and showing you how to see what your own needs are when it comes to getting the appropriate amount of rest for you.
If you’re struggling at work, burnt out, overwhelmed, hate your boss, or at the end of your rope after a year-and-a-half of dealing with a pandemic, I have an amazing free course beginning in 2022. It’s packed with simple, direct content that you can easily consume over your lunch break to help you feel better and less stressed in 2022. Join the 2022 course waitlist here!
What You Will Discover:
Why rest is something that is always available to you.
What it really means to be intentional around rest.
How to see what your mind and body needs in any given moment.
What intentional rest looks like in my life, and why it’s unique and specific to every individual.
Why intentional rest isn’t easy and doesn’t always feel like sunshine and rainbows, and that’s okay.
How to start the work of making rest an intentional priority in your life, even when your brain is resisting the idea.
Resources:
Full Episode Transcript:
If you're two to five years out of your MPH degree, love public health, but find yourself secretly unhappy at work and maybe even thinking about quitting your job, then this is the podcast for you. I'm Marissa McKool, host of the Thoughts Are Your Root Cause podcast. Join me each week as I share tips, tools, and resources to help you have the career you've always dreamed of without any of the stress you are experiencing right now. Come along.
Hi everyone, happy Monday. I am so glad you are spending part of your day with me. You are listening to this episode, whether it's on Monday or any other day. How are you doing? Are you getting some intentional rest? We're going to talk about that more today. But first, I am so excited I have to share with you all. I am recording this right before I'm about to leave for a four-day solo retreat, business retreat, kind of vibe.
So, it's not an organized retreat. I have actually done this before. Even before I had a business, I would rent out a place for a few days, and go and turn off my social media, not watch TV, and have a couple of days of intention. And I would make a schedule. I would do yoga, meditate, and then do thought work for part of the days. I would reflect on the past couple of months, six months, a year. Really have time to celebrate wins, my accomplishments, and even my failures and struggles, and honor that and have some time to think about what I want for the next couple of months, or six months, or a year, and plan that out. And do some deep thinking and have space to do that.
This time I am doing it in the context of my business, which is really exciting, and I'm mostly excited because that's where I'm going to be spending a lot of my time developing the new course I am putting out in 2022. So, as you all are hearing this episode, I think it's coming out mid-December. I am recording this mid-November.
So, by the time you hear this, the course will be already designed. Probably in production or done being produced, and ready to share out with you all. So, if you're interested in taking that course, or finding out more about it, sign up for the waitlist. I'll leave a link in the show notes, but if you're struggling at work, if you are burned out, if you are overwhelmed, if you're really struggling with leadership, or hate your boss, thinking about quitting, this is going to be the course for you.
When I say course, that might be too extreme, it's basically a series of videos that are to the point, simple, that you can watch over your lunch break, but can give you a lot of help and resources and tools to help you in 2022 feel better, have more intentional rest, be less stressed outright? Because all of us in public health, year and a half almost two years into this, we're kind of at the end of our rope.
So, I want to help you rebuild your rope or get a new rope, and that's what this course will do. So, make sure to check it out. You can head on over to mcoolcoaching.com/courses; that's courses plural. I'll also link in the show notes, and you can sign up for the waitlist. So, you can get all of the details, when it's going to be launched. Get the first dibs, all of that, and the best part is, it's free. So, I am really excited about that.
I want to just give a huge shoutout to all of you who have been listening. It's amazing to see how far in what, eight, ten months, this podcast has grown and how many of you are tuning in weekly. How many new folks are joining us each week, and welcome if you are a new listener! So excited you are here. I would love for you to give this podcast a review or rate it so that other's who are in public health who are struggling who have MPHD degrees and kind of figuring out in this pandemic, like, what did I get myself into can get this resource and get support. Just like you're getting.
So, if you can rate and review, I would so, so, so appreciate it. With that, let's just jump into the episode. So, I talk about redefining rest on a previous episode a while back. And today's episode is an extension of that, and if you haven't listened to that redefining rest episode, no worries, you can keep listening. You will get plenty out of this, and you can always go back if you want to.
To recap that episode, I talk about how we have defined rest to be something that's given to us in society. That we have to earn, that's a temporary state, used as a reward. You know, something we only give to ourselves when we're burned out or when we have accomplished something "really big." And we've also been socialized in our society to view rest as a treatment rather than prevention and rest as a gift rather than a daily occurrence we can experience.
And in the redefining rest episode, I share because of these unintentional beliefs we've adopted. We have this underlying notion unquestioned notion that rest is not available to us and is not determined by us. That we unconsciously believe we don't have the power to create more rest in our lives. Which I talk a lot about, is not true, and how we have to redefine rest for ourselves and undo those beliefs and define rest for what we want it to be in our lives, for when we get to have rest, how we're going to give it to us, what it's going to be, and all of that, and redefine that and reshape that for ourselves in order to give that to ourselves more.
So, that rest is sustainable and ongoing. So, today we're going to be talking about intentional rest. The peace that comes after and does it while you're doing it as well, undoing your unconscious beliefs about rest and shaping how you want to define rest. So, for me, intentional rest comes from a place of believing rest is always available to you. That rest isn't an experience of restriction. Rather it is an experience of excess or abundance.
Meaning it's always available to you, and it is always a choice. I also think intentional rest is a state we can create consistently for ourselves, rather than a rare commodity that we must be given. Intentional rest is an experience we create and can create in our everyday lives rather than once in a while. Such as an exotic destination mindset. I also truly believe intentional rest is for everyone. It's available to everyone, for you, me, and anyone else.
I do not believe in intentional rest, sustainable rest, is reserved for the few or the special who earn it or deserve it. Intentional rest is available to everyone. So, when we are being intentional about rest, what does that mean? It means giving your mind or your body what it needs at any time. Planned or not planned, maybe in the moment. Intentionality can be about planning rest.
Which I definitely do, and I highly recommend you all do as well. But it also means giving rest in the moment when you recognize you need it because that takes intention. Right? You can plan rest. You can prioritize rest in your schedule, which I do. But we can't always predict all the moments we're going to need rest, and we need to be able in the moment to listen to our mind and our body and what it means and telling us. And then give that to ourselves with intention.
And to be intentional about rest, you need to become better friends with your mind and body. You have to get to know your mind better. When does it operate best? Under what conditions? What does it enjoy? What drains it? How long of a period does it function optimally and then need a break? Same with your body, what's the best fuel for your body? What movements does your body enjoy? How often and how long does your body enjoy movement? When does your body function best? How does your body communicate with you?
Understanding what our mind and body needs is personal. It's unique and specific to you, which is why rest is personal. And when you stop outsourcing, determine what rest is and when you can take it. You start to redefine rest for yourself with two societal expectations and norms. Then you can start practicing intentional rest.
So, let's talk about what this looks like in practice, some examples of intentional rest. I'm going to share a few things that I do that work for me. I want to be very clear that some of these may work for you or not. You may have other ways to practice intentional rest that I'm not even thinking of. There are so many different ways to practice intentional rest.
The sole purpose of me sharing some of my examples with you is so that you can see examples of intentional rest. Not to provide a list of things that need intentional rest criteria. This is really, really important because intentional rest is unique and specific to every person based on their mind and body needs. Which only you can answer. And only you know. No one else knows what your mind and body needs.
No one else knows how it works best, at what times, what fuel it needs, how much rest it needs, what kind of rest like. No one else knows that. Only you know that. So, what I am providing here today are just examples that I have learned based on redefining rest, figuring out what is rest to my mind and body, and listening to that. But you're going to have to do that work too. I am not providing a checklist or a list of things that count as intentional rest and don't.
Anything can count as intentional rest. And I love using this example; for some people, running, whether a mile or ten miles, is restful to them. That is the opposite of restful, complete opposite, right for other people. Same activity, but different people find it restful, and different people see it as intentional rest. Okay, so it's not about the activity. It's about what's rest to you.
Okay, so let me share a few examples just so you get an idea. For me, my calendar and to-do list are a practice of intentional rest. And this may sound a little bonkers to some of you, right, because these are the things we've been told that we use to be productive. To get work done and the way we've been socialized in our society is that counter is rest and that those two things don't go together. But for me, it's a place of intentional rest because when I use those tools, I first use them to prioritize rest.
For example, when I schedule my week, I schedule my blocks for lunch before any of my to-dos or meetings. I block off time before and after meetings for travel time, debrief time or bathroom breaks. I schedule in my calendar blocked off, my start and end time, explicitly. And I schedule tasks in chunks of time that don't drain my brain. So, for example, me personally working on deep thinking activities like writing from a place of strategy, like strategic planning, or really thinking through something, or reading deeply, reading published articles or books where I am taking notes, and it's thought-provoking.
I need to schedule those in small chunks, so I don't burn myself out. Personally, my brain does not function well when I do that for the whole day or for a three-hour block. My brain just can't do that. And for using my to-do list, I've gotten to the place where, and it took me a while, where I can look at my to-do list and the items I have, and now most of the time I'm not perfect, pragmatically without a lot of wrapped up emotions say, do I really need to do this task? And if it's a no or a maybe, I take it off the list.
Or I ask myself, am I ever going to end up doing this? Or am I going to keep pushing it to the next week, and the next week, and the next week, right. And if I tell myself, yeah, I'll probably never do this and keep pushing it off, I take it off my list. I also organize my to-do list where next to what's written on the list, I put how much time that task should take, or I think will take and exact directions on how to do it and start the work. So, when I get to that task, my brain has a jump start.
Another area I practice intentional rest is Monday through Friday. I get up every day at the same time. This might not be intentional rest for everyone. I know some folks whose intentional rest for them is not setting an alarm—and getting up whenever their body wakes them up. Great example, right? For me, intentional rest is getting up at the same time, and for others, it's not having an alarm. But for me, based on what I learned about my mind and body if I get up at the same time every day, that sets me up to have better sleep patterns and feel more rested and energized.
Where if I start to get up at different times each day, I end up more tired during the day and less able to fall asleep. I also try, when possible, to take an extra day off when I get back from big trips. So, sometimes this isn't possible, but I do try. So, for example, if I am traveling for a week and I know when I get back, I'll need to do laundry and grocery shop and meal prep and maybe pick up my dog, adjust to the time zone, right, a number of things after a long day of travel. If I can take that day off, I will. I might do this by taking the full Monday workday off or cutting my trip short and coming back on a Saturday. So, I have all day Sunday.
Because for me, I know that makes the rest of my week more restful because I have all of those things done. So, here are a few other areas I try to practice intentional rest for me; getting exercise weekly even if it's just one time a week for 20 minutes, eating food I love, which for me is vegan food, sitting on the floor and playing tug of war with my dog, reading in small increments, not trying to get myself to sit for an hour, but just for 10 minutes before bed, sitting on the floor and stretching my arms and legs while watching TV, refilling my water throughout the day when I remember, crying it out, which I do a lot, using my Roomba vacuum the automatic electric vacuum, sometimes watching it in amazement, and many many others.
Again, I want you to notice that not all of these tasks will be restful to you. You might not even know if they're restful to you because you haven't done the work on your mind and body yet to see what is rest to you. Your list of intentional rest, if you read that to me, I might find half the things not restful to me. That's how it's supposed to be. Rest is not kind of a standard checklist of things that count as rest and restful activities that everyone finds restful. I know we've been sold that, but that's not what rest is.
A couple of other things I want to talk about with intentional rest intentional rest is often about the actions you take or the decisions you make that help you sustain rest, conserve energy, maintain mental capacity, and allow the body to function optimally. Intentional rest is also about being present with what you're doing that helps you feel or maintain rested.
So, we do a lot of things we might consider rest, but when we're doing them and not being present with them, it does not feel restful. And then there's a lot of things you might not consider rest, but if you're present with them while you're doing it, they actually might be restful for you. And the last thing I want to say about intentional rest is intentional rest does not always feel like sunshine and rainbows. I think this is really important to talk about. I think we have this idea that it will be easy once we get to a place where we are consistent or mostly consistent with prioritizing and being intentional about our rest.
We kind of have this idea, especially when we're in the place of not feeling like we have enough time to rest and being too busy. We think about getting to a place where we have more time for rest; we envision that life will be so much easier. That you'll be so much happier, that you won't feel any negative emotions, and it's kind of this fantasy land we've created in our head. This makes so much sense because of the ways we've been socialized to think about rest.
So, it makes sense that we have that idea. And we also believe that the work it takes to get towards consistent rest, so working towards learning how to get more rest, maybe rearranging our calendars to do that, managing our mind about reducing work, undoing our limited beliefs, practicing prioritizing rest, like, all of those pieces when we're building those, and learning how to do those. That is what's hard. But once we get that down, it will be fun and enjoyable.
So, some of you who are maybe at the stage of really trying to implement practices to have more rest you might be in that mindset. Okay, this is her now, and I am struggling now, but everything will be easy once I get it down. I hate to break it to you, but that's not often the case. Some of you might know this because I have shared this on social media. I shared on social media that November and December I have had depends on when you're listening to these six total travel trips, and as I am recording this, I have already been on one, and I have five more to go.
I think I have probably been on three or four as you're listening to this. Some days, I am taking work off completely, and others, I am working, intentionally working. So, I can prioritize rest or intentionally taking days off so I can prioritize rest. So, for me, what that has meant as I am thinking about these two months, and my travel, and making sure I'm intentional about rest and prioritizing it. It has meant deciding not to work nights and weekends to make up for my days off and my travel. I am deciding to say no to some projects and push back some timelines, even a couple of months back.
I'm doing this so I can continue to do the work that's needed. The work that I have prioritized, enjoy my trips, and still all of those actions I shared with you, that to me, for me are intentional rest still being able to do most or all of those. So, I can still maintain my sleep, feel relaxed, spend time with my partner, eat food that nourishes me, and get some workouts in, right—all the things I shared. I'm not going to do them all perfectly, and I might not do them all. But I am being intentional and prioritizing my rest, so I have the space to do that.
Which has meant putting some things to the side. Pausing some things and setting some boundaries with people and having to say no. and having to have those hard conversations, and I will tell you it does not feel like sunshine and rainbows at all. And here's the thing, I've gotten really good at setting boundaries and prioritizing rest, and not working nights and weekends, and saying no, all of that. And in fact, even before I found coaching, I was really good at a lot of that. Especially saying no.
I think most of my friends and family members, and coworkers would tell you I don't have a problem saying no. Many of them would come to me when they wanted to say no and felt like they couldn't for a pep talk or a kick in the ass about it. 90% of the time, I don't struggle with these things in the sense that I can do them. But it does not mean it feels amazing. Just cause' I am good at setting boundaries or saying no doesn't mean it feels good. I do it, but it doesn't always feel good.
So, in this example, whereas I am planning my schedule for the next two months with traveling and everything I have going on. And being intentional about rest, turning things down, so I have time to do my restful actions. It has meant my brain keeps telling me that I am doing it wrong. That someone is going to be mad at me, that I have too much work to do, that I am going to regret it, that I'll get in trouble, and honestly, a whole host of other thoughts my brain is trying to throw at me.
I still believe it a lot of the time, seriously. I have gotten coached on it. I have done my own thought work on it; I need help responding to my brain. I need help allowing my emotions, and that is okay. It's part of the process. And we could even say that's how it's supposed to feel, right? That prioritizing rest and being intentional about it, and doing what we know our minds and bodies need doesn't always feel great in the moment.
Making sure that happens, giving ourselves the structure to do that, isn't always easy. So, some of you might be thinking, well, if it's not easy and it feels terrible, intentional rest, and prioritizing rest doesn't feel good, then is that rest? And this goes back to what we've been told and sold to, about rest. We've been sold this idea that emotional experience of bliss is what equals rest, and that can be rest like we might have had moments on vacation, days off, where it's just this moment of bliss, and everything is fine, easy, and rainbows, and we feel really rested.
That can totally be true. But more often than not, it's not the case. Because rest truly is giving your mind and body what it needs. It is giving your mind and body what it needs to keep functioning, to maintain, to conserve energy. So, for me, what my mind and body need over these next couple of weeks is not constantly worrying about what I am forgetting or behind on because I have over-scheduled myself.
What it needs on this trip is space to be present on my trip without thinking about where I am falling behind on my work, or the timelines I'm not being able to keep up on, or the things I haven't gotten to people I said I would get to them. What my body needs during this time is time to adjust to the travel. Whether it's time zones or just being on a plane all day. My body needs me to have time to grocery shop and cook and drink enough water and get enough sleep and get exercise in. Being intentional about that and prioritizing that making sure that happens doesn't feel like sunshine and rainbows.
Especially when you're setting those boundaries and setting the structure and scheduling it out, and that's because my brain is still a human brain. My brain still questions my decisions and says I'm doing it wrong, worried something is going to go wrong, that someone's going to be mad at me, that I am going to get in trouble, that I am going to regret it. The reason it doesn't feel great and doesn't feel easy is because of my brain and what it's saying to me. And that's okay. I still do it anyways.
Because I know that in a couple of weeks and two months, my future self will be so grateful to my current self for setting up our travel, our schedule, our time this way, I know that while I'm on those trips, I will be so grateful to myself for setting up my schedule so I can enjoy my trips and still get the work I need to get done. Because here is the way I think about it if I'm going to feel terrible when I'm not prioritizing rest and working myself to the bone, which results in me burning out, or feel terrible, prioritizing rest, and being intentional about rest because my brain is just chattering along in my ear about all the ways I'm doing it wrong. I am going to continue to stick to prioritizing rest.
Because even though right now it doesn't feel easy and I'm having to work to manage my mind a lot. I know it will be worth the work. I know it will be worth it in two weeks. I'm not stressed about timelines for work. I know it'll be worth it when in four works I still feel in shape, and I still feel like my body is nourished, and I am not exhausted, and still rested and getting enough sleep. I know it will be worth it because when I am on my trips or after my trips, I'll be able to say, wow, that was great. I really enjoyed myself.
I'm spending time with friends and family and really present. Yeah, it doesn't feel great right now while I am making sure that happens. And it is prioritizing that being intentional and doing all the work that is required to do that. But I know in the long game, even the short game in a couple of weeks, it will be worth it.
So, here are some helpful thoughts about intentional rest that you can use when you're in this place. When you're being intentional and prioritizing rest, and your brain is having a field day about it. You can say these to your brain when it's just being a meanie to you to help you. I know when I am consistent about my rest, I am better able to enjoy my day. When I prioritize what my mind and body need, I am prioritizing my life. Resting from a place of intention rather than reaction is self-love. Giving myself rest is not selfish. Giving myself a rest allows me to show up for myself fully every day, no matter what.
Rest is what allows me to get the results I want in life. Making rest my priority is the most productive thing I can do in a world where rest is centered, in a world I not only want to live in but help create. Okay, y'all, so I know as many of you are going into the New Year, you're thinking about starting off your year differently and feeling more rested and having more time to do things that you find restful, no matter what that is. This is going to come up as you do that. As you prioritize that, as you schedule it, as you be intentional about your rest, your brain is going to freak out, and that's okay. It's totally normal.
The ways we have been programmed about rest and socialized about rest make sense. Our brains freak out a little bit. When we start to redefine rest and prioritize it and change how we interact with rest and how we experience rest and how we give rest to ourselves, so, it's okay if your brain freaks out. You just got to manage your mind. Which I know you can do. Okay, y'all, thank you so much for tuning in. I'll catch you next week.
Are you ready to make a change? Whether that's learning to love your job, making a career move, or anything in between, I can help. I'd be honored to coach you through figuring out what's next and navigating the steps to get there. So, head on over to mckoolcoaching.com/consult that's mckoolcoaching.com/consult to set up a time to chat and talk about how you can achieve the career of your dreams.
Hi everyone, happy Monday. I am so glad you are spending part of your day with me. You are listening to this episode, whether it's on Monday or any other day. How are you doing? Are you getting some intentional rest? We're going to talk about that more today. But first, I am so excited I have to share with you all. I am recording this right before I'm about to leave for a four-day solo retreat, business retreat, kind of vibe.
So, it's not an organized retreat. I have actually done this before. Even before I had a business, I would rent out a place for a few days, and go and turn off my social media, not watch TV, and have a couple of days of intention. And I would make a schedule. I would do yoga, meditate, and then do thought work for part of the days. I would reflect on the past couple of months, six months, a year. Really have time to celebrate wins, my accomplishments, and even my failures and struggles, and honor that and have some time to think about what I want for the next couple of months, or six months, or a year, and plan that out. And do some deep thinking and have space to do that.
This time I am doing it in the context of my business, which is really exciting, and I'm mostly excited because that's where I'm going to be spending a lot of my time developing the new course I am putting out in 2022. So, as you all are hearing this episode, I think it's coming out mid-December. I am recording this mid-November.
So, by the time you hear this, the course will be already designed. Probably in production or done being produced, and ready to share out with you all. So, if you're interested in taking that course, or finding out more about it, sign up for the waitlist. I'll leave a link in the show notes, but if you're struggling at work, if you are burned out, if you are overwhelmed, if you're really struggling with leadership, or hate your boss, thinking about quitting, this is going to be the course for you.
When I say course, that might be too extreme, it's basically a series of videos that are to the point, simple, that you can watch over your lunch break, but can give you a lot of help and resources and tools to help you in 2022 feel better, have more intentional rest, be less stressed outright? Because all of us in public health, year and a half almost two years into this, we're kind of at the end of our rope.
So, I want to help you rebuild your rope or get a new rope, and that's what this course will do. So, make sure to check it out. You can head on over to mcoolcoaching.com/courses; that's courses plural. I'll also link in the show notes, and you can sign up for the waitlist. So, you can get all of the details, when it's going to be launched. Get the first dibs, all of that, and the best part is, it's free. So, I am really excited about that.
I want to just give a huge shoutout to all of you who have been listening. It's amazing to see how far in what, eight, ten months, this podcast has grown and how many of you are tuning in weekly. How many new folks are joining us each week, and welcome if you are a new listener! So excited you are here. I would love for you to give this podcast a review or rate it so that other's who are in public health who are struggling who have MPHD degrees and kind of figuring out in this pandemic, like, what did I get myself into can get this resource and get support. Just like you're getting.
So, if you can rate and review, I would so, so, so appreciate it. With that, let's just jump into the episode. So, I talk about redefining rest on a previous episode a while back. And today's episode is an extension of that, and if you haven't listened to that redefining rest episode, no worries, you can keep listening. You will get plenty out of this, and you can always go back if you want to.
To recap that episode, I talk about how we have defined rest to be something that's given to us in society. That we have to earn, that's a temporary state, used as a reward. You know, something we only give to ourselves when we're burned out or when we have accomplished something "really big." And we've also been socialized in our society to view rest as a treatment rather than prevention and rest as a gift rather than a daily occurrence we can experience.
And in the redefining rest episode, I share because of these unintentional beliefs we've adopted. We have this underlying notion unquestioned notion that rest is not available to us and is not determined by us. That we unconsciously believe we don't have the power to create more rest in our lives. Which I talk a lot about, is not true, and how we have to redefine rest for ourselves and undo those beliefs and define rest for what we want it to be in our lives, for when we get to have rest, how we're going to give it to us, what it's going to be, and all of that, and redefine that and reshape that for ourselves in order to give that to ourselves more.
So, that rest is sustainable and ongoing. So, today we're going to be talking about intentional rest. The peace that comes after and does it while you're doing it as well, undoing your unconscious beliefs about rest and shaping how you want to define rest. So, for me, intentional rest comes from a place of believing rest is always available to you. That rest isn't an experience of restriction. Rather it is an experience of excess or abundance.
Meaning it's always available to you, and it is always a choice. I also think intentional rest is a state we can create consistently for ourselves, rather than a rare commodity that we must be given. Intentional rest is an experience we create and can create in our everyday lives rather than once in a while. Such as an exotic destination mindset. I also truly believe intentional rest is for everyone. It's available to everyone, for you, me, and anyone else.
I do not believe in intentional rest, sustainable rest, is reserved for the few or the special who earn it or deserve it. Intentional rest is available to everyone. So, when we are being intentional about rest, what does that mean? It means giving your mind or your body what it needs at any time. Planned or not planned, maybe in the moment. Intentionality can be about planning rest.
Which I definitely do, and I highly recommend you all do as well. But it also means giving rest in the moment when you recognize you need it because that takes intention. Right? You can plan rest. You can prioritize rest in your schedule, which I do. But we can't always predict all the moments we're going to need rest, and we need to be able in the moment to listen to our mind and our body and what it means and telling us. And then give that to ourselves with intention.
And to be intentional about rest, you need to become better friends with your mind and body. You have to get to know your mind better. When does it operate best? Under what conditions? What does it enjoy? What drains it? How long of a period does it function optimally and then need a break? Same with your body, what's the best fuel for your body? What movements does your body enjoy? How often and how long does your body enjoy movement? When does your body function best? How does your body communicate with you?
Understanding what our mind and body needs is personal. It's unique and specific to you, which is why rest is personal. And when you stop outsourcing, determine what rest is and when you can take it. You start to redefine rest for yourself with two societal expectations and norms. Then you can start practicing intentional rest.
So, let's talk about what this looks like in practice, some examples of intentional rest. I'm going to share a few things that I do that work for me. I want to be very clear that some of these may work for you or not. You may have other ways to practice intentional rest that I'm not even thinking of. There are so many different ways to practice intentional rest.
The sole purpose of me sharing some of my examples with you is so that you can see examples of intentional rest. Not to provide a list of things that need intentional rest criteria. This is really, really important because intentional rest is unique and specific to every person based on their mind and body needs. Which only you can answer. And only you know. No one else knows what your mind and body needs.
No one else knows how it works best, at what times, what fuel it needs, how much rest it needs, what kind of rest like. No one else knows that. Only you know that. So, what I am providing here today are just examples that I have learned based on redefining rest, figuring out what is rest to my mind and body, and listening to that. But you're going to have to do that work too. I am not providing a checklist or a list of things that count as intentional rest and don't.
Anything can count as intentional rest. And I love using this example; for some people, running, whether a mile or ten miles, is restful to them. That is the opposite of restful, complete opposite, right for other people. Same activity, but different people find it restful, and different people see it as intentional rest. Okay, so it's not about the activity. It's about what's rest to you.
Okay, so let me share a few examples just so you get an idea. For me, my calendar and to-do list are a practice of intentional rest. And this may sound a little bonkers to some of you, right, because these are the things we've been told that we use to be productive. To get work done and the way we've been socialized in our society is that counter is rest and that those two things don't go together. But for me, it's a place of intentional rest because when I use those tools, I first use them to prioritize rest.
For example, when I schedule my week, I schedule my blocks for lunch before any of my to-dos or meetings. I block off time before and after meetings for travel time, debrief time or bathroom breaks. I schedule in my calendar blocked off, my start and end time, explicitly. And I schedule tasks in chunks of time that don't drain my brain. So, for example, me personally working on deep thinking activities like writing from a place of strategy, like strategic planning, or really thinking through something, or reading deeply, reading published articles or books where I am taking notes, and it's thought-provoking.
I need to schedule those in small chunks, so I don't burn myself out. Personally, my brain does not function well when I do that for the whole day or for a three-hour block. My brain just can't do that. And for using my to-do list, I've gotten to the place where, and it took me a while, where I can look at my to-do list and the items I have, and now most of the time I'm not perfect, pragmatically without a lot of wrapped up emotions say, do I really need to do this task? And if it's a no or a maybe, I take it off the list.
Or I ask myself, am I ever going to end up doing this? Or am I going to keep pushing it to the next week, and the next week, and the next week, right. And if I tell myself, yeah, I'll probably never do this and keep pushing it off, I take it off my list. I also organize my to-do list where next to what's written on the list, I put how much time that task should take, or I think will take and exact directions on how to do it and start the work. So, when I get to that task, my brain has a jump start.
Another area I practice intentional rest is Monday through Friday. I get up every day at the same time. This might not be intentional rest for everyone. I know some folks whose intentional rest for them is not setting an alarm—and getting up whenever their body wakes them up. Great example, right? For me, intentional rest is getting up at the same time, and for others, it's not having an alarm. But for me, based on what I learned about my mind and body if I get up at the same time every day, that sets me up to have better sleep patterns and feel more rested and energized.
Where if I start to get up at different times each day, I end up more tired during the day and less able to fall asleep. I also try, when possible, to take an extra day off when I get back from big trips. So, sometimes this isn't possible, but I do try. So, for example, if I am traveling for a week and I know when I get back, I'll need to do laundry and grocery shop and meal prep and maybe pick up my dog, adjust to the time zone, right, a number of things after a long day of travel. If I can take that day off, I will. I might do this by taking the full Monday workday off or cutting my trip short and coming back on a Saturday. So, I have all day Sunday.
Because for me, I know that makes the rest of my week more restful because I have all of those things done. So, here are a few other areas I try to practice intentional rest for me; getting exercise weekly even if it's just one time a week for 20 minutes, eating food I love, which for me is vegan food, sitting on the floor and playing tug of war with my dog, reading in small increments, not trying to get myself to sit for an hour, but just for 10 minutes before bed, sitting on the floor and stretching my arms and legs while watching TV, refilling my water throughout the day when I remember, crying it out, which I do a lot, using my Roomba vacuum the automatic electric vacuum, sometimes watching it in amazement, and many many others.
Again, I want you to notice that not all of these tasks will be restful to you. You might not even know if they're restful to you because you haven't done the work on your mind and body yet to see what is rest to you. Your list of intentional rest, if you read that to me, I might find half the things not restful to me. That's how it's supposed to be. Rest is not kind of a standard checklist of things that count as rest and restful activities that everyone finds restful. I know we've been sold that, but that's not what rest is.
A couple of other things I want to talk about with intentional rest intentional rest is often about the actions you take or the decisions you make that help you sustain rest, conserve energy, maintain mental capacity, and allow the body to function optimally. Intentional rest is also about being present with what you're doing that helps you feel or maintain rested.
So, we do a lot of things we might consider rest, but when we're doing them and not being present with them, it does not feel restful. And then there's a lot of things you might not consider rest, but if you're present with them while you're doing it, they actually might be restful for you. And the last thing I want to say about intentional rest is intentional rest does not always feel like sunshine and rainbows. I think this is really important to talk about. I think we have this idea that it will be easy once we get to a place where we are consistent or mostly consistent with prioritizing and being intentional about our rest.
We kind of have this idea, especially when we're in the place of not feeling like we have enough time to rest and being too busy. We think about getting to a place where we have more time for rest; we envision that life will be so much easier. That you'll be so much happier, that you won't feel any negative emotions, and it's kind of this fantasy land we've created in our head. This makes so much sense because of the ways we've been socialized to think about rest.
So, it makes sense that we have that idea. And we also believe that the work it takes to get towards consistent rest, so working towards learning how to get more rest, maybe rearranging our calendars to do that, managing our mind about reducing work, undoing our limited beliefs, practicing prioritizing rest, like, all of those pieces when we're building those, and learning how to do those. That is what's hard. But once we get that down, it will be fun and enjoyable.
So, some of you who are maybe at the stage of really trying to implement practices to have more rest you might be in that mindset. Okay, this is her now, and I am struggling now, but everything will be easy once I get it down. I hate to break it to you, but that's not often the case. Some of you might know this because I have shared this on social media. I shared on social media that November and December I have had depends on when you're listening to these six total travel trips, and as I am recording this, I have already been on one, and I have five more to go.
I think I have probably been on three or four as you're listening to this. Some days, I am taking work off completely, and others, I am working, intentionally working. So, I can prioritize rest or intentionally taking days off so I can prioritize rest. So, for me, what that has meant as I am thinking about these two months, and my travel, and making sure I'm intentional about rest and prioritizing it. It has meant deciding not to work nights and weekends to make up for my days off and my travel. I am deciding to say no to some projects and push back some timelines, even a couple of months back.
I'm doing this so I can continue to do the work that's needed. The work that I have prioritized, enjoy my trips, and still all of those actions I shared with you, that to me, for me are intentional rest still being able to do most or all of those. So, I can still maintain my sleep, feel relaxed, spend time with my partner, eat food that nourishes me, and get some workouts in, right—all the things I shared. I'm not going to do them all perfectly, and I might not do them all. But I am being intentional and prioritizing my rest, so I have the space to do that.
Which has meant putting some things to the side. Pausing some things and setting some boundaries with people and having to say no. and having to have those hard conversations, and I will tell you it does not feel like sunshine and rainbows at all. And here's the thing, I've gotten really good at setting boundaries and prioritizing rest, and not working nights and weekends, and saying no, all of that. And in fact, even before I found coaching, I was really good at a lot of that. Especially saying no.
I think most of my friends and family members, and coworkers would tell you I don't have a problem saying no. Many of them would come to me when they wanted to say no and felt like they couldn't for a pep talk or a kick in the ass about it. 90% of the time, I don't struggle with these things in the sense that I can do them. But it does not mean it feels amazing. Just cause' I am good at setting boundaries or saying no doesn't mean it feels good. I do it, but it doesn't always feel good.
So, in this example, whereas I am planning my schedule for the next two months with traveling and everything I have going on. And being intentional about rest, turning things down, so I have time to do my restful actions. It has meant my brain keeps telling me that I am doing it wrong. That someone is going to be mad at me, that I have too much work to do, that I am going to regret it, that I'll get in trouble, and honestly, a whole host of other thoughts my brain is trying to throw at me.
I still believe it a lot of the time, seriously. I have gotten coached on it. I have done my own thought work on it; I need help responding to my brain. I need help allowing my emotions, and that is okay. It's part of the process. And we could even say that's how it's supposed to feel, right? That prioritizing rest and being intentional about it, and doing what we know our minds and bodies need doesn't always feel great in the moment.
Making sure that happens, giving ourselves the structure to do that, isn't always easy. So, some of you might be thinking, well, if it's not easy and it feels terrible, intentional rest, and prioritizing rest doesn't feel good, then is that rest? And this goes back to what we've been told and sold to, about rest. We've been sold this idea that emotional experience of bliss is what equals rest, and that can be rest like we might have had moments on vacation, days off, where it's just this moment of bliss, and everything is fine, easy, and rainbows, and we feel really rested.
That can totally be true. But more often than not, it's not the case. Because rest truly is giving your mind and body what it needs. It is giving your mind and body what it needs to keep functioning, to maintain, to conserve energy. So, for me, what my mind and body need over these next couple of weeks is not constantly worrying about what I am forgetting or behind on because I have over-scheduled myself.
What it needs on this trip is space to be present on my trip without thinking about where I am falling behind on my work, or the timelines I'm not being able to keep up on, or the things I haven't gotten to people I said I would get to them. What my body needs during this time is time to adjust to the travel. Whether it's time zones or just being on a plane all day. My body needs me to have time to grocery shop and cook and drink enough water and get enough sleep and get exercise in. Being intentional about that and prioritizing that making sure that happens doesn't feel like sunshine and rainbows.
Especially when you're setting those boundaries and setting the structure and scheduling it out, and that's because my brain is still a human brain. My brain still questions my decisions and says I'm doing it wrong, worried something is going to go wrong, that someone's going to be mad at me, that I am going to get in trouble, that I am going to regret it. The reason it doesn't feel great and doesn't feel easy is because of my brain and what it's saying to me. And that's okay. I still do it anyways.
Because I know that in a couple of weeks and two months, my future self will be so grateful to my current self for setting up our travel, our schedule, our time this way, I know that while I'm on those trips, I will be so grateful to myself for setting up my schedule so I can enjoy my trips and still get the work I need to get done. Because here is the way I think about it if I'm going to feel terrible when I'm not prioritizing rest and working myself to the bone, which results in me burning out, or feel terrible, prioritizing rest, and being intentional about rest because my brain is just chattering along in my ear about all the ways I'm doing it wrong. I am going to continue to stick to prioritizing rest.
Because even though right now it doesn't feel easy and I'm having to work to manage my mind a lot. I know it will be worth the work. I know it will be worth it in two weeks. I'm not stressed about timelines for work. I know it'll be worth it when in four works I still feel in shape, and I still feel like my body is nourished, and I am not exhausted, and still rested and getting enough sleep. I know it will be worth it because when I am on my trips or after my trips, I'll be able to say, wow, that was great. I really enjoyed myself.
I'm spending time with friends and family and really present. Yeah, it doesn't feel great right now while I am making sure that happens. And it is prioritizing that being intentional and doing all the work that is required to do that. But I know in the long game, even the short game in a couple of weeks, it will be worth it.
So, here are some helpful thoughts about intentional rest that you can use when you're in this place. When you're being intentional and prioritizing rest, and your brain is having a field day about it. You can say these to your brain when it's just being a meanie to you to help you. I know when I am consistent about my rest, I am better able to enjoy my day. When I prioritize what my mind and body need, I am prioritizing my life. Resting from a place of intention rather than reaction is self-love. Giving myself rest is not selfish. Giving myself a rest allows me to show up for myself fully every day, no matter what.
Rest is what allows me to get the results I want in life. Making rest my priority is the most productive thing I can do in a world where rest is centered, in a world I not only want to live in but help create. Okay, y'all, so I know as many of you are going into the New Year, you're thinking about starting off your year differently and feeling more rested and having more time to do things that you find restful, no matter what that is. This is going to come up as you do that. As you prioritize that, as you schedule it, as you be intentional about your rest, your brain is going to freak out, and that's okay. It's totally normal.
The ways we have been programmed about rest and socialized about rest make sense. Our brains freak out a little bit. When we start to redefine rest and prioritize it and change how we interact with rest and how we experience rest and how we give rest to ourselves, so, it's okay if your brain freaks out. You just got to manage your mind. Which I know you can do. Okay, y'all, thank you so much for tuning in. I'll catch you next week.
Are you ready to make a change? Whether that's learning to love your job, making a career move, or anything in between, I can help. I'd be honored to coach you through figuring out what's next and navigating the steps to get there. So, head on over to mckoolcoaching.com/consult that's mckoolcoaching.com/consult to set up a time to chat and talk about how you can achieve the career of your dreams.
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